Sticks 'n Cups

A friend of mine once said, “When one goes in a direction for so long it can be hard to know anything else. That path becomes the essence in which they live, the means by which they operate. It has become a necessity. If it is a path that is out of sync with the leading of God, then it becomes most destructive.” It’s true and it applies to both ourselves and the people around us.

With us, it’s that prying sin, ruthless attitude, dragging laziness, loose tongue, destructive mindset, reliance on self, or persistent unfaithfulness that is so difficult to get out of. Like my friend said, it’s hard to know anything else because that habit or sin became routine. But even while we all carry different tendencies toward destructive behaviors or sin, the path can be broken and we can return to God’s ways.

The same is true for the people around us. Do you have a family member or friend who is going in a direction that really, really upsets you? Whether it is deeply rooted anger, addiction, grudge, depression, racism, lust, or coldness, they behave in such a way because it’s all they’ve known for so long. So when these friends and family members lash out at you, make rude remarks, distance themselves, or wear arrogance, we have to remember that they’re sin is making them act in such a way. In the words of Ron Kopicko, “People who have deeply rooted sin do not have the ability to love others because they’re not allowing God’s love to flow freely through them.” It would be like sticking a bunch of sticks through a styrophome cup every which way and expecting the water to flow through without hitting any of the sticks. So until these people we love allow God to remove the sticks from their cups, we won’t receive straight God-love from them, simply because they won’t allow themselves to receive it.

So how do we pry ourselves from the destructive path we’re on and how do we respond to our friends and family members who are caught on that kind of path, too? Philippians chapter two tells us how: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men” (vv. 1-8). In this text, we can see that when we take the focus off our selves, regard others’ as greater than our own interests, and serve those around us, we empty ourselves. Think of a glass cup being God’s likeness. Either our “flavor” will be seen through the glass or God’s overflow into us will show. So we’ve got to pour ourselves out before godly characteristics will be evident in our cups.

And when our family members respond, because of their sin (not because they want to), we can give grace and respond with a Philippians 2:14-17: “do all things without grumbling or disputing.” It would be easy to lash back with a like-response as you were given, but give them grace instead. Serve them, uphold their dignity, and let God’s love overflow your cup and soak them head to toe.