Because Sleep Won't Come

I have always been the type to please. And when I can't, I feel halted.

While this year's life circumstances haven't been any easier, God has proven to be more real and more loving than ever before. He's shown Himself through the most unexpected friendships and the beauty of creation. His love has proven to be so rich and so sweet in my life, and I can't help but praise Him.

Everything's changed. My dreams are alive again. My heart is full of life. It is as if I am overflowing with an exceedingly growing amount of love, joy, passion, and yearning for God and people. I can't explain it as anything but the direct effect of surrender, obedience, and submission. My Savior's love is romantic, persistant, and real. It's as if my King, the One who made both the galaxies of the universe and the freckles on a child's face, is especially fond of me among all His creation. The beauty and mystery of our God is that He is both especially fond of YOU, too.

But why am I up at 2:00 in the morning? Lately, I have been thinking about how my Jesus has allowed me to be a part of such a beautifully interdependant friendship that has been quite the surprise to me. I didn't mean to become friends with this person. In fact, I didn't even search it out. It just...happened. At first, it was rather casual. We'd run into each other here and there, have a "Hey how are you" conversation and go our seperate ways. I didn't realize it until recently, but even from the very begininng, this person loved me for me--not for who I was or who I'm going to be...just for...me. That kind of friendship--the one where I know I don't have to measure up, pretty up, or perform well--is rare. And my Jesus let me have it. I don't want to mess it up.

...but I'm scared I will.