I noticed that as I read verses about purity, something of extreme worth is being described. The word is used hand in hand with precious metals like gold and silver as well. Often, when something is described as pure, it has a special purpose or is for God. Purity is something that is esteemed highly in the Christian world, something that is fallen from, and something that is strove for.
In the outside world, something is always more expensive and sought after if it is pure. Water, gold, and even pure-bred animals--they're all "better" if they're pure. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of pure can be the following: unmixed with any other matter; free from what vitiates, weakens, or pollutes; containing nothing that does not properly belong.
The heart can be pure. God says that the mouth speaks what the overflow of the heart is (Matthew 12:34). What is coming out of your mouth? Is it entirely pure? What are you filling your heart with? If what you look at and listen to is not entirely pure, your heart will be filled with things that do not belong and what you say will be a reflection of that. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8
As much as our society says otherwise, you can dwell upon pure things. If the Bible instructs it, then it is not impossible, for all things are possible with God!(Mark 10:27). "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things." Philippians 4:8
Religion can be pure. "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of {our} God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, {and} to keep oneself unstained by the world." James 1:27
People can be pure. "And everyone who has this hope {fixed} on Him purifies himself, just as He is pure." 1 John 3:3
After becoming impure, it is so easy feel defeated, be consumed with guilt, and allow forgiven sin to creep into the present. But when our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ died on the cross, He did not die a halfway death. SO, when one is redeemed by the imperishable, precious, priceless blood of Christ, he or she is not halfway redeemed! Sure, allow guilt to lead you to repentance, but once one is forgiven, he or she can claim the victory of Christ with great and noble triumph! You have been redeemed! Your sin is gone! Take up your bed and walk! With great valiance, God said, "Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine!" Isaiah 43:1 As much as people seek to acquire a pure product, I've often wondered how much more beautiful and how much more precious and how much more I'd prize a product that has been MADE pure because with it comes a story of my Savior's forgiving and redeeming grace. Because what is a story without grace but a self-righteous goblet of mud?
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Feminine Mystique
Below, I've copied and pasted an article written by Leslie Ludy. It's really good, and it's a topic that interests me... Would you like to read it?
***
Feminine Mystique
by Leslie Ludy
www.setapartgirl.com
Eric and I have asked scores of young men over the years what makes a woman beautiful. When we get on the subject of what kind of girl is most attractive to them, these are the answers we commonly hear:
“A woman who guards her heart.”
“A woman who isn’t too easy to get.”
“A woman who doesn’t throw herself at me.”
“A woman that makes me prove I’m worthy of her heart.”
“A woman that exudes a quiet dignity in the way she acts and dresses.”
Such responses seem counter-intuitive in a culture that praises women who are sexually aggressive, loose, and uninhibited. And yet, if you think about the essence of love, sex and romance, it makes sense. Where is the fun in winning someone’s heart if they’ve already thrown their most intimate secrets out on the table? How can a man be intrigued and captivated by a woman who has no mystery at all?
In her book A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit makes a compelling argument that preserving the romantic depends upon a sense of mystery and guardedness. She says that modesty protects and inspires the kind of allure that actually lasts. When a woman throws all guardedness to the wind, she quickly loses her appeal. There’s nothing left to discover about her. Wendy writes about a man who became disillusioned with his girlfriend when she went topless on the beach while they were together. While it may seem that most modern guys would be happy to be with such an uninhibited girl, men who are really honest admit that this kind of audacious behavior makes women seem unfeminine and unattractive.
I think that must be what makes Jane Austen love stories so heart-meltingly romantic. What makes those old fashioned romances so compelling is their sense of mystery; tales of young women who were guarded and protective of their hearts (and bodies) being heroically wooed and won by gallant gentlemen who highly valued femininity.
When mystery is guarded, romance flourishes and lasts. When mystery is lost, romance quickly withers and dies. If a woman guards the sacred core of her femininity and allows a man to rise to the challenge of pursuing her, wooing her, and winning her heart over time, instead of thrusting it upon him too readily, his masculine strength will be tested and proven. If he has had to work hard to win her, he is far less likely to take her for granted. Rather, he will become the heroic protector he was created to be—laying down his life to preserve and nurture the heart of the princess that he worked so hard to win.
Mystery cannot be separated from true feminine beauty. It’s part of God’s pattern for femininity. Proverbs 31 portrays a beautiful, dignified, intelligent, and mysterious woman who “is clothed with strength and dignity” and who is “like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” Think about the significance of that statement. This woman’s life is intriguing and mysterious, like the great ships that come from an exotic, far-away land.
The New Testament paints a clear and inspiring vision of this very same kind of captivating femininity:
Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
(1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV)
“Gentle and quiet spirit” refers to a woman who is gracious, peaceful, serene, and quietly dignified—a woman who does not scrape and claw to be noticed and appreciated, but one who is fully content and secure in her relationship with her King. A woman with a gentle demeanor and quiet confidence in Christ will naturally guard the “hidden person” of her heart, because she understands what it means to protect the sacred. A woman that lives according to God’s pattern is captivating—because she stands out from among the throngs of women who are driven by selfishness and insecurity. As Song of Songs 2:4 says, “Like a lily among thorns, so is my darling among the maidens.” And as Proverbs 31 says, “"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." (RSV) A woman who possesses the incorruptible beauty of true feminine mystery will outshine all the rest.
When the Bible speaks of the “hidden person of the heart” it’s talking about the secret, intimate part of who we are—the sacred core of our femininity. But if we embrace the “hold nothing back” version of womanhood we see all around us, we have no “hidden person of the heart” left to protect; everything we think, hope, dream, fear, and feel is all out there on display for the world to see. It’s impossible to possess the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit if we follow the worldly pattern of femininity.
“Is it bad to have guys as friends?” they often ask. “How much should I share with a guy, and how much should I hold back and keep sacred? How do I protect feminine mystery and not come off as a snob?”
The reason that the concept of feminine mystery is hard to grasp is because in our modern era we’ve lost all understanding of protecting the sacred. Our global disregard for the sacred hasn’t merely affected issues surrounding femininity. In nearly every sphere of life, we have become haphazard and cavalier toward all that was once treated with reverence and respect.
For instance, just think about the way church has changed over the past few decades. People used to dress in their “Sunday best” to enter the house of God. Dressing up was a way of placing value, esteem and honor upon their time of worship and gathering together with other believers. Now, most churches have become so informal that the majority of attendees are in their Saturday-morning hang-around-the-house clothes rather than their Sunday-morning best. The congregation wears jeans, and the pastor delivers his message in a laid-back Hawaiian shirt. Church worship used to be a distinguished art form; but now it is typically a noisy display of pop-culture informality, performed by a handful of guitar-wielding twenty-year-olds with hip scruffy hair and grungy clothes. Sanctuaries used to be beautifully adorned with stained glass and mahogany pews. Now, they look like high school gymnasiums, with folding chairs and cheap, all-purpose flooring.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that dressing up or having a formal setting for church are the keys to true worship. Formality is certainly not necessary for experiencing the presence of God. Many underground churches around the world are forced to hold meetings in cramped basements and abandoned buildings—and they experience the presence of God in powerful ways, far beyond what most of us have ever encountered. However, I believe that in America, our slipshod approach to worship is merely a symptom of a deeper root issue—a lack of true reverence for the things of God; a lack of respect for the sacred. Once our churches began to portray Jesus as a casual buddy with a ponytail instead of the majestic King of all kings and Lord of all Lords that He is, we quickly lost the honor, respect, nobility, awe, and fear of God that is foundational to the Christian life.
Marriage is another sphere of life that has been greatly impacted by our lack of reverence for the sacred. God says that marriage “is to be held in honor among all.” (Hebrews 13:4) He designed the joining together of two lives to be a sacred, holy covenant—unbreakable by anything but death.
To God, divorce is an abomination (see Mal 2:14.) And yet, the divorce rate among Christians has been shown to actually be higher than among non-Christians in many recent studies. We don’t take our marriage covenants seriously anymore. We don’t realize we are entering into a holy union before God. We behave selfishly, carelessly toward our spouse, and as soon as someone more appealing comes along, we are quick to forsake the one we pledged to love and serve for a lifetime. Even couples that stay together typically do not treat their marriage with reverence and respect. They take each other for granted. They allow sloppy, haphazard, disrespectful habits to creep into their relationship. They treat each other with dishonor. They complain about each other, embarrass each other, and make each other the brunt of jokes at social gatherings.
Protecting the sacred was one of the key aspects to my God-written love story with Eric. When our romance was first blossoming, Eric spent several months away at missionary school. This was before the days of cell phones and email, if you can believe it! So we could only talk on the phone about once a week and write each other letters.
It may sound restrictive and old-fashioned, but to me it was like a dream-come-true. Just think about what makes a Jane Austen romance so appealing. It’s the slow, delicate process of one heart opening to another. In old-fashioned love stories you don’t carelessly fling your mind, emotions and body upon someone the moment that they say they like you.
In fairy tales, you don’t go from zero to sixty in seconds. Rather, you savor each conversation, carefully weigh each word, and patiently wait months or years before you finally win the priceless treasure of the other person’s heart. Modern romances are sadly lacking in the dignity, nobility and honor that was prevalent in the days of “knights and fair maidens.” The only way to gain the dignity and nobility that our feminine hearts crave is to carefully protect the sacred things, no matter how strange or old-fashioned they might seem.
Instead of spending mindless hours on the phone chatting about trivial things, I waited with eager anticipation for Eric’s once-a-week call to me from the pay phone outside his missionary school. Every word was savored. We didn’t waste time talking about meaningless things. We cherished every moment and counted every conversation as significant. It was a thousand times more special and romantic because we only talked once a week. Instead of exchanging quick, shallow text messages every day, we took the time to write long, thoughtful letters to each other. I still love to look through the box of letters that we wrote to each other during those years. It reminds me of a Jane Austen novel. I look at the carefully scripted, thoughtful words and remember the delicate way our hearts opened to each other. It was a thousand times more romantic and dignified than mindless emails or text messages.
This is not to say that you can’t have the “Jane Austen magic” if you choose to use email or cell phones in your love story. The principle that makes the fairy-tale spirit come alive is keeping sacred things sacred.
Even now after fourteen years together, Eric and I make it our goal to keep our relationship sacred and treat our marriage with reverence. We still write thoughtful, purposeful letters to each other—in fact, we even have special formal letterhead and scented stationary that we use specifically for this purpose. It might seem cheesy to some, but to us it is a simple way of keeping nobility in our love story.
Protecting the sacred is part of God’s pattern. When sacred things are protected, marriages thrive, churches thrive, and culture thrives. The same is true for femininity. When sacred things are protected, feminine beauty and dignity are the natural byproduct. Here are a couple of ways to put this principle into practice as a single young woman:
Dressing with selfless dignity means not giving other guys the pleasure of viewing what was only meant for your husband. It means honoring and respecting your future spouse by keeping your body sacred and set-apart for his eyes only. And it means respecting the men around you by not putting temptation right in front of their nose, and then blaming them for viewing you like a sex object. It doesn’t mean hiding behind a long, tent-like robe. It just means being guarded with how much of your body is being exposed.
Here is the rule of thumb that works for me on where to draw the line when it comes to showing skin: Any area of my body that can be associated with sensuality is not to be touched or seen by anyone other than my husband. For example, if someone touches me on the elbow, there isn’t anything sensual about it. In fact, often at weddings or fancy restaurants, an usher or waiter will take me by the arm and lead me to my seat. Eric has no reason to be concerned about this kind of interaction, because there’s nothing sexual about it. But if a guy came up and touched me on the thigh or put his hand on my stomach, it’s a completely different story. Eric would have every reason to be jealous, angry and hurt, because that kind of touch can definitely be associated with sensuality.
Any area of my body that would be awkward or uncomfortable for another guy to touch is an area of my body that I keep hidden for my husband’s eyes alone. Upper chest, thighs, stomach—these might seem like harmless areas to show off, but if you were married and wanted to stay that way, you wouldn’t allow another guy to touch you in any of those places. So why would you allow another guy to have the privilege of looking at what was meant for your husband’s pleasure alone? When you keep your husband’s feelings at the forefront of your mind when deciding what to wear, the issue of how much skin to show becomes far less complicated.
Lots of young women I know frequently wear clothes that conceal almost every bit of skin on their body, and yet their outfits are anything but modest. Tight and form-fitting clothes can be just as sensual (if not more so) as clothes that reveal a lot of skin. It’s really the same rule of thumb that applies in this situation. Any area of your body that can be associated with sensuality shouldn’t be viewed by other men—whether in showing skin or in super-fitted form. A turtleneck might not show any skin whatsoever, but if it is extremely tight in chest area, then you are leaving very little to the imagination for any guy who happens to look your way. The same goes with pants and skirts. They might cover every square inch of skin, but if they cling too snugly to your figure, you are giving guys the pleasure of viewing what was meant for only your husband’s enjoyment.
Carrying yourself with poise sends the message that
your femininity is valuable.
There is a big difference between a young woman who is careful and guarded in her femininity because she is afraid of doing something wrong, and a young woman who guards her femininity out of love for Jesus Christ and honor for her future husband. It’s similar to the distinction between the woman who hides behind dull, drab, shapeless clothing in order to prove how “godly and modest” she is, and the woman who dresses with selfless, dignified elegance because she wants to bring glory to Jesus Christ. One is born out of humanly contrived self-effort. The other is born out of a passionate relationship with our Lord.
Hiding in a corner and refusing to look men in the eye or ever have a conversation with them is not truly protecting the sacred. Acting aloof and arrogant toward the opposite sex in the name of trying to “guard our heart” is not true feminine mystique. But neither is being haphazard and flippant with our heart and emotions, casually sharing our most vulnerable thoughts and intimate secrets with any Joe Blow that invites us out to coffee. A woman of honor is confident, friendly, outward focused and does not draw attention to herself, either by extreme shyness or by extreme forwardness. She is willing and able to talk to guys, encourage guys, and build them up as brothers in Christ. She is confident and poised, looks them in the eye, she excels in the art of Christ-honoring conversation with them. And yet, she does not quickly open up her heart to them. She is able to be a close sister and encourager without throwing the sacred core of her femininity to the wind.
I’ve known quite a few young women who exude feminine mystique. This kind of young woman has a radiant smile and ready friendliness to all she comes in contact with, including guys. She is friendly and confident when she converses with the opposite sex, and yet if she ever senses that she is becoming the object of unhealthy male attention, she is quick to discreetly back away. When guy friends pressure her to share more of her intimate thoughts than she is comfortable with, she tells them nicely but firmly that she doesn’t feel comfortable opening up on that level. She doesn’t act rude or stiff in response to inappropriate male behavior—she’s just forthright and honest with them about her standards. A woman of mystery is a confident, radiant, beautiful and guarded woman—and part of what makes her so lovely is her careful protection over what is most sacred in her life.
Like I said earlier, there are many stylish and looser fitting pants that are feminine and flattering without “giving away the farm.” They may be hard to find in the teeny-bopper stores at the mall where every pair of jeans is labeled “ultra-low-cut-stretch”, but the young professional styles often have some pretty good options. You may have to pay a bit more for them, but it’s better to have one or two pairs of classy, feminine jeans or pants, than a whole closet full of super-tight ones that only get tighter every time you wash them! Make it your goal that when a guy looks at you, he will notice the light of Christ in your eyes and the radiance of your smile rather than being distracted by the outline of your body.
Along the same lines, be aware of the way you carry yourself. A young woman of mystery does not sprawl on the floor with her legs carelessly splayed, drape herself haphazardly over a countertop so that her blouse hangs open, or unconsciously pull at her panty line. Carrying yourself with poise sends the message that your femininity is valuable. It also commands respect from the guys you encounter. A woman who carries herself like a lady is far more apt to be treated like a lady. On the flip-side, a woman who carries herself with carelessness is more apt to be treated with disrespect.
Feminine mystery is tantamount to feminine beauty. If you want to turn the head(and heart) of a noble, godly man, start by regaining the lost art of mystique.
“Modesty, is the ancient secret of allure. An oxymoron? I think not. When women choose to dress with modesty and dignity, it just might flip everything around…We were created in such a way that when we humans act without restraint and without any rules, we don’t have as much fun! Modesty and dignity helps women protect their romantic hopes, challenges men to be courteous and honorable and will turn the whole sexual revolution on its head. That is something to look forward to.” Christa Taylor
***
***
Feminine Mystique
by Leslie Ludy
www.setapartgirl.com
Eric and I have asked scores of young men over the years what makes a woman beautiful. When we get on the subject of what kind of girl is most attractive to them, these are the answers we commonly hear:
“A woman who guards her heart.”
“A woman who isn’t too easy to get.”
“A woman who doesn’t throw herself at me.”
“A woman that makes me prove I’m worthy of her heart.”
“A woman that exudes a quiet dignity in the way she acts and dresses.”
Such responses seem counter-intuitive in a culture that praises women who are sexually aggressive, loose, and uninhibited. And yet, if you think about the essence of love, sex and romance, it makes sense. Where is the fun in winning someone’s heart if they’ve already thrown their most intimate secrets out on the table? How can a man be intrigued and captivated by a woman who has no mystery at all?
In her book A Return to Modesty, Wendy Shalit makes a compelling argument that preserving the romantic depends upon a sense of mystery and guardedness. She says that modesty protects and inspires the kind of allure that actually lasts. When a woman throws all guardedness to the wind, she quickly loses her appeal. There’s nothing left to discover about her. Wendy writes about a man who became disillusioned with his girlfriend when she went topless on the beach while they were together. While it may seem that most modern guys would be happy to be with such an uninhibited girl, men who are really honest admit that this kind of audacious behavior makes women seem unfeminine and unattractive.
I think that must be what makes Jane Austen love stories so heart-meltingly romantic. What makes those old fashioned romances so compelling is their sense of mystery; tales of young women who were guarded and protective of their hearts (and bodies) being heroically wooed and won by gallant gentlemen who highly valued femininity.
When mystery is guarded, romance flourishes and lasts. When mystery is lost, romance quickly withers and dies. If a woman guards the sacred core of her femininity and allows a man to rise to the challenge of pursuing her, wooing her, and winning her heart over time, instead of thrusting it upon him too readily, his masculine strength will be tested and proven. If he has had to work hard to win her, he is far less likely to take her for granted. Rather, he will become the heroic protector he was created to be—laying down his life to preserve and nurture the heart of the princess that he worked so hard to win.
Mystery cannot be separated from true feminine beauty. It’s part of God’s pattern for femininity. Proverbs 31 portrays a beautiful, dignified, intelligent, and mysterious woman who “is clothed with strength and dignity” and who is “like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.” Think about the significance of that statement. This woman’s life is intriguing and mysterious, like the great ships that come from an exotic, far-away land.
The New Testament paints a clear and inspiring vision of this very same kind of captivating femininity:
Do not let your adornment be merely outward; arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel. Rather let it be the hidden person of the heart with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.
(1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV)
“Gentle and quiet spirit” refers to a woman who is gracious, peaceful, serene, and quietly dignified—a woman who does not scrape and claw to be noticed and appreciated, but one who is fully content and secure in her relationship with her King. A woman with a gentle demeanor and quiet confidence in Christ will naturally guard the “hidden person” of her heart, because she understands what it means to protect the sacred. A woman that lives according to God’s pattern is captivating—because she stands out from among the throngs of women who are driven by selfishness and insecurity. As Song of Songs 2:4 says, “Like a lily among thorns, so is my darling among the maidens.” And as Proverbs 31 says, “"Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all." (RSV) A woman who possesses the incorruptible beauty of true feminine mystery will outshine all the rest.
When the Bible speaks of the “hidden person of the heart” it’s talking about the secret, intimate part of who we are—the sacred core of our femininity. But if we embrace the “hold nothing back” version of womanhood we see all around us, we have no “hidden person of the heart” left to protect; everything we think, hope, dream, fear, and feel is all out there on display for the world to see. It’s impossible to possess the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit if we follow the worldly pattern of femininity.
“Is it bad to have guys as friends?” they often ask. “How much should I share with a guy, and how much should I hold back and keep sacred? How do I protect feminine mystery and not come off as a snob?”
The reason that the concept of feminine mystery is hard to grasp is because in our modern era we’ve lost all understanding of protecting the sacred. Our global disregard for the sacred hasn’t merely affected issues surrounding femininity. In nearly every sphere of life, we have become haphazard and cavalier toward all that was once treated with reverence and respect.
For instance, just think about the way church has changed over the past few decades. People used to dress in their “Sunday best” to enter the house of God. Dressing up was a way of placing value, esteem and honor upon their time of worship and gathering together with other believers. Now, most churches have become so informal that the majority of attendees are in their Saturday-morning hang-around-the-house clothes rather than their Sunday-morning best. The congregation wears jeans, and the pastor delivers his message in a laid-back Hawaiian shirt. Church worship used to be a distinguished art form; but now it is typically a noisy display of pop-culture informality, performed by a handful of guitar-wielding twenty-year-olds with hip scruffy hair and grungy clothes. Sanctuaries used to be beautifully adorned with stained glass and mahogany pews. Now, they look like high school gymnasiums, with folding chairs and cheap, all-purpose flooring.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that dressing up or having a formal setting for church are the keys to true worship. Formality is certainly not necessary for experiencing the presence of God. Many underground churches around the world are forced to hold meetings in cramped basements and abandoned buildings—and they experience the presence of God in powerful ways, far beyond what most of us have ever encountered. However, I believe that in America, our slipshod approach to worship is merely a symptom of a deeper root issue—a lack of true reverence for the things of God; a lack of respect for the sacred. Once our churches began to portray Jesus as a casual buddy with a ponytail instead of the majestic King of all kings and Lord of all Lords that He is, we quickly lost the honor, respect, nobility, awe, and fear of God that is foundational to the Christian life.
Marriage is another sphere of life that has been greatly impacted by our lack of reverence for the sacred. God says that marriage “is to be held in honor among all.” (Hebrews 13:4) He designed the joining together of two lives to be a sacred, holy covenant—unbreakable by anything but death.
To God, divorce is an abomination (see Mal 2:14.) And yet, the divorce rate among Christians has been shown to actually be higher than among non-Christians in many recent studies. We don’t take our marriage covenants seriously anymore. We don’t realize we are entering into a holy union before God. We behave selfishly, carelessly toward our spouse, and as soon as someone more appealing comes along, we are quick to forsake the one we pledged to love and serve for a lifetime. Even couples that stay together typically do not treat their marriage with reverence and respect. They take each other for granted. They allow sloppy, haphazard, disrespectful habits to creep into their relationship. They treat each other with dishonor. They complain about each other, embarrass each other, and make each other the brunt of jokes at social gatherings.
Protecting the sacred was one of the key aspects to my God-written love story with Eric. When our romance was first blossoming, Eric spent several months away at missionary school. This was before the days of cell phones and email, if you can believe it! So we could only talk on the phone about once a week and write each other letters.
It may sound restrictive and old-fashioned, but to me it was like a dream-come-true. Just think about what makes a Jane Austen romance so appealing. It’s the slow, delicate process of one heart opening to another. In old-fashioned love stories you don’t carelessly fling your mind, emotions and body upon someone the moment that they say they like you.
In fairy tales, you don’t go from zero to sixty in seconds. Rather, you savor each conversation, carefully weigh each word, and patiently wait months or years before you finally win the priceless treasure of the other person’s heart. Modern romances are sadly lacking in the dignity, nobility and honor that was prevalent in the days of “knights and fair maidens.” The only way to gain the dignity and nobility that our feminine hearts crave is to carefully protect the sacred things, no matter how strange or old-fashioned they might seem.
Instead of spending mindless hours on the phone chatting about trivial things, I waited with eager anticipation for Eric’s once-a-week call to me from the pay phone outside his missionary school. Every word was savored. We didn’t waste time talking about meaningless things. We cherished every moment and counted every conversation as significant. It was a thousand times more special and romantic because we only talked once a week. Instead of exchanging quick, shallow text messages every day, we took the time to write long, thoughtful letters to each other. I still love to look through the box of letters that we wrote to each other during those years. It reminds me of a Jane Austen novel. I look at the carefully scripted, thoughtful words and remember the delicate way our hearts opened to each other. It was a thousand times more romantic and dignified than mindless emails or text messages.
This is not to say that you can’t have the “Jane Austen magic” if you choose to use email or cell phones in your love story. The principle that makes the fairy-tale spirit come alive is keeping sacred things sacred.
Even now after fourteen years together, Eric and I make it our goal to keep our relationship sacred and treat our marriage with reverence. We still write thoughtful, purposeful letters to each other—in fact, we even have special formal letterhead and scented stationary that we use specifically for this purpose. It might seem cheesy to some, but to us it is a simple way of keeping nobility in our love story.
Protecting the sacred is part of God’s pattern. When sacred things are protected, marriages thrive, churches thrive, and culture thrives. The same is true for femininity. When sacred things are protected, feminine beauty and dignity are the natural byproduct. Here are a couple of ways to put this principle into practice as a single young woman:
Dressing with selfless dignity means not giving other guys the pleasure of viewing what was only meant for your husband. It means honoring and respecting your future spouse by keeping your body sacred and set-apart for his eyes only. And it means respecting the men around you by not putting temptation right in front of their nose, and then blaming them for viewing you like a sex object. It doesn’t mean hiding behind a long, tent-like robe. It just means being guarded with how much of your body is being exposed.
Here is the rule of thumb that works for me on where to draw the line when it comes to showing skin: Any area of my body that can be associated with sensuality is not to be touched or seen by anyone other than my husband. For example, if someone touches me on the elbow, there isn’t anything sensual about it. In fact, often at weddings or fancy restaurants, an usher or waiter will take me by the arm and lead me to my seat. Eric has no reason to be concerned about this kind of interaction, because there’s nothing sexual about it. But if a guy came up and touched me on the thigh or put his hand on my stomach, it’s a completely different story. Eric would have every reason to be jealous, angry and hurt, because that kind of touch can definitely be associated with sensuality.
Any area of my body that would be awkward or uncomfortable for another guy to touch is an area of my body that I keep hidden for my husband’s eyes alone. Upper chest, thighs, stomach—these might seem like harmless areas to show off, but if you were married and wanted to stay that way, you wouldn’t allow another guy to touch you in any of those places. So why would you allow another guy to have the privilege of looking at what was meant for your husband’s pleasure alone? When you keep your husband’s feelings at the forefront of your mind when deciding what to wear, the issue of how much skin to show becomes far less complicated.
Lots of young women I know frequently wear clothes that conceal almost every bit of skin on their body, and yet their outfits are anything but modest. Tight and form-fitting clothes can be just as sensual (if not more so) as clothes that reveal a lot of skin. It’s really the same rule of thumb that applies in this situation. Any area of your body that can be associated with sensuality shouldn’t be viewed by other men—whether in showing skin or in super-fitted form. A turtleneck might not show any skin whatsoever, but if it is extremely tight in chest area, then you are leaving very little to the imagination for any guy who happens to look your way. The same goes with pants and skirts. They might cover every square inch of skin, but if they cling too snugly to your figure, you are giving guys the pleasure of viewing what was meant for only your husband’s enjoyment.
Carrying yourself with poise sends the message that
your femininity is valuable.
There is a big difference between a young woman who is careful and guarded in her femininity because she is afraid of doing something wrong, and a young woman who guards her femininity out of love for Jesus Christ and honor for her future husband. It’s similar to the distinction between the woman who hides behind dull, drab, shapeless clothing in order to prove how “godly and modest” she is, and the woman who dresses with selfless, dignified elegance because she wants to bring glory to Jesus Christ. One is born out of humanly contrived self-effort. The other is born out of a passionate relationship with our Lord.
Hiding in a corner and refusing to look men in the eye or ever have a conversation with them is not truly protecting the sacred. Acting aloof and arrogant toward the opposite sex in the name of trying to “guard our heart” is not true feminine mystique. But neither is being haphazard and flippant with our heart and emotions, casually sharing our most vulnerable thoughts and intimate secrets with any Joe Blow that invites us out to coffee. A woman of honor is confident, friendly, outward focused and does not draw attention to herself, either by extreme shyness or by extreme forwardness. She is willing and able to talk to guys, encourage guys, and build them up as brothers in Christ. She is confident and poised, looks them in the eye, she excels in the art of Christ-honoring conversation with them. And yet, she does not quickly open up her heart to them. She is able to be a close sister and encourager without throwing the sacred core of her femininity to the wind.
I’ve known quite a few young women who exude feminine mystique. This kind of young woman has a radiant smile and ready friendliness to all she comes in contact with, including guys. She is friendly and confident when she converses with the opposite sex, and yet if she ever senses that she is becoming the object of unhealthy male attention, she is quick to discreetly back away. When guy friends pressure her to share more of her intimate thoughts than she is comfortable with, she tells them nicely but firmly that she doesn’t feel comfortable opening up on that level. She doesn’t act rude or stiff in response to inappropriate male behavior—she’s just forthright and honest with them about her standards. A woman of mystery is a confident, radiant, beautiful and guarded woman—and part of what makes her so lovely is her careful protection over what is most sacred in her life.
Like I said earlier, there are many stylish and looser fitting pants that are feminine and flattering without “giving away the farm.” They may be hard to find in the teeny-bopper stores at the mall where every pair of jeans is labeled “ultra-low-cut-stretch”, but the young professional styles often have some pretty good options. You may have to pay a bit more for them, but it’s better to have one or two pairs of classy, feminine jeans or pants, than a whole closet full of super-tight ones that only get tighter every time you wash them! Make it your goal that when a guy looks at you, he will notice the light of Christ in your eyes and the radiance of your smile rather than being distracted by the outline of your body.
Along the same lines, be aware of the way you carry yourself. A young woman of mystery does not sprawl on the floor with her legs carelessly splayed, drape herself haphazardly over a countertop so that her blouse hangs open, or unconsciously pull at her panty line. Carrying yourself with poise sends the message that your femininity is valuable. It also commands respect from the guys you encounter. A woman who carries herself like a lady is far more apt to be treated like a lady. On the flip-side, a woman who carries herself with carelessness is more apt to be treated with disrespect.
Feminine mystery is tantamount to feminine beauty. If you want to turn the head(and heart) of a noble, godly man, start by regaining the lost art of mystique.
“Modesty, is the ancient secret of allure. An oxymoron? I think not. When women choose to dress with modesty and dignity, it just might flip everything around…We were created in such a way that when we humans act without restraint and without any rules, we don’t have as much fun! Modesty and dignity helps women protect their romantic hopes, challenges men to be courteous and honorable and will turn the whole sexual revolution on its head. That is something to look forward to.” Christa Taylor
***
Trust
God says:
"And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." Psalm 9:10
You can always rejoice if you choose to trust God instead of dwell upon your circumstances. In fact, rejoicing comes as a direct result of trusting in God! "For our heart rejoices in Him, Because we trust in His holy name." Psalm 33:21
"Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:5
"How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood." Psalm 40:4
"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You." Psalm 56:3
"Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah." Psalm 62:8
"Those who trust in the LORD Are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides forever." Psalm 125:1
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
People say:
"If we wholly trust an interest to God, we must keep our hands off it; and He will guard it for us better than him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass. Things may seem to be going all wrong, but He knows as well as we; and He will arise in the right moment if we are really trusting Him so fully as to let Him work in His own way and time. There is nothing so masterly as inactivity in some things, and there is nothing so hurtful as restless working, for God has undertaken to work His sovereign will." A.B. Simpson
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." Walter Anderson
"Trust and worry cannot go together." Hannah Whitall Smith
"God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. He will always look after us. So we must cleave to Jesus. Our whole life must simply be woven into Jesus." Mother Teresa
"Every evening I turn my troubles over to God - He's going to be up all night anyway." Donald J. Morgan
I say:
Similarly to how it is frightening to pray for patience, it can also be really scary to trust both God and people. We know our own ability (or lack there of) to follow through, make ends meet, or get something done, so it's a whole lot easier to depend on yourself. But when you trust another, you step into the unknown. Trusting creates vulnerability. Trusting puts you on a ledge. Trusting involves risk of being let down, hurt, or damaged.
Imagine you're setting out to go on a long awaited family vacation. You've been driving out west for hours now, and with each increasing mile, you near what you have been anticipating for so long. After about a dozen bathroom breaks, three million "Are we there yet's," and just a few too many wrong turns, you see a sign indicating just how close to the Grand Canyon you are. You pull into the parking lot next to a lime green 1999 Dodge Neon and catch a glimpse of the canyon. Feelings of fear replace feelings of excitement as your mind creates every irrational way you could somehow land yourself at the bottom of the mile-deep hole in the earth. So instead of venturing away from the safety of your vehicle, you remain inside your car where you're sure the seat won't give way. If you were to leave the safety of your car and make your way toward the ledge of the canyon, you increase your risk of getting hurt or becoming more fearful. Trust must increase as distance decreases and as distance increases, beauty increases. It is no different when trusting God.
Remain where you are, depending on yourself, making your own decisions, planning your own life. Remain where you are, writing your story, leading the way, staying safe. Remain where you are, sacrificing bliss and freedom and blessings in abundance. Remain where you are, forsaking the Cross, denying your Savior. Remain where you are.
Or, step out of the car, putting yourself at risk the cause of Christ. Step out of the car and step into the beauty and adventure the Warrior-Poet Jesus Christ is offering you if you only trust Him. And keep in mind that it is God Almighty that we can choose to put our trust in. Trusting in ourselves is like leaning on a single strand of Dollar Store dental floss to keep us from falling into the Grand Canyon. Trusting in God is like letting the wings of an eagle support us and take us deep into the canyon's depth--each swoop, dip, and curve will send your stomach flying, but to God be the glory, the view is immaculate.
"And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You." Psalm 9:10
You can always rejoice if you choose to trust God instead of dwell upon your circumstances. In fact, rejoicing comes as a direct result of trusting in God! "For our heart rejoices in Him, Because we trust in His holy name." Psalm 33:21
"Commit your way to the LORD. Trust also in Him, and He will do it." Psalm 37:5
"How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood." Psalm 40:4
"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You." Psalm 56:3
"Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah." Psalm 62:8
"Those who trust in the LORD Are as Mount Zion, which cannot be moved but abides forever." Psalm 125:1
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5
People say:
"If we wholly trust an interest to God, we must keep our hands off it; and He will guard it for us better than him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass. Things may seem to be going all wrong, but He knows as well as we; and He will arise in the right moment if we are really trusting Him so fully as to let Him work in His own way and time. There is nothing so masterly as inactivity in some things, and there is nothing so hurtful as restless working, for God has undertaken to work His sovereign will." A.B. Simpson
“We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy." Walter Anderson
"Trust and worry cannot go together." Hannah Whitall Smith
"God will never, never, never let us down if we have faith and put our trust in Him. He will always look after us. So we must cleave to Jesus. Our whole life must simply be woven into Jesus." Mother Teresa
"Every evening I turn my troubles over to God - He's going to be up all night anyway." Donald J. Morgan
I say:
Similarly to how it is frightening to pray for patience, it can also be really scary to trust both God and people. We know our own ability (or lack there of) to follow through, make ends meet, or get something done, so it's a whole lot easier to depend on yourself. But when you trust another, you step into the unknown. Trusting creates vulnerability. Trusting puts you on a ledge. Trusting involves risk of being let down, hurt, or damaged.
Imagine you're setting out to go on a long awaited family vacation. You've been driving out west for hours now, and with each increasing mile, you near what you have been anticipating for so long. After about a dozen bathroom breaks, three million "Are we there yet's," and just a few too many wrong turns, you see a sign indicating just how close to the Grand Canyon you are. You pull into the parking lot next to a lime green 1999 Dodge Neon and catch a glimpse of the canyon. Feelings of fear replace feelings of excitement as your mind creates every irrational way you could somehow land yourself at the bottom of the mile-deep hole in the earth. So instead of venturing away from the safety of your vehicle, you remain inside your car where you're sure the seat won't give way. If you were to leave the safety of your car and make your way toward the ledge of the canyon, you increase your risk of getting hurt or becoming more fearful. Trust must increase as distance decreases and as distance increases, beauty increases. It is no different when trusting God.
Remain where you are, depending on yourself, making your own decisions, planning your own life. Remain where you are, writing your story, leading the way, staying safe. Remain where you are, sacrificing bliss and freedom and blessings in abundance. Remain where you are, forsaking the Cross, denying your Savior. Remain where you are.
Or, step out of the car, putting yourself at risk the cause of Christ. Step out of the car and step into the beauty and adventure the Warrior-Poet Jesus Christ is offering you if you only trust Him. And keep in mind that it is God Almighty that we can choose to put our trust in. Trusting in ourselves is like leaning on a single strand of Dollar Store dental floss to keep us from falling into the Grand Canyon. Trusting in God is like letting the wings of an eagle support us and take us deep into the canyon's depth--each swoop, dip, and curve will send your stomach flying, but to God be the glory, the view is immaculate.
Only Love Remains
Scenes of you come rushing through
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart
Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light
Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
You are breaking me down
So break me into pieces
That will grow in the ground
I know that I deserve to die
For the murder in my heart
So be gentle with me Jesus
As you tear me apart
Please kill the liar
Kill the thief in me
You know that I am tired of their cruelty
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
You burn away the ropes that bind
And hold me to the earth
The fire only leaves behind whatever is of worth
I begin to see reality
For the first time in my life
I know that I’m a shadow
But I’m dancing in your light
Teach me to be humble
Call me from the grave
Show me how to walk with you upon the waves
Breathe into my spirit
Breathe into my veins
Until only love remains
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Patience
So you've realized that you're fresh out of groceries. Your house is filled with grumbling bellies and your family is beginning to ask for food. You have every desire to give them what they asked for, but does their action of asking you for food fill their bellies and satisfy their hunger? Of course not! Instead, you must take the action of physically making a trip to the store, taking the time to go down each isle, fill your cart, and purchase the items. It is the same way with God.
It is easy to pray for most fruit of the Spirit. I mean, who wouldn't want to be loving, joyous, peaceable, kind, filled with goodness, gentle, and self-controlled? While that fruit is just ask laborous to cultivate as patience is, it's not as scary to ask for as it is to ask for patience! Somehow, there's a speculation that when one prays to be patient, something difficult will occur in the life of the pray-er--you know, like a drawn out decision, an annoying neighbor, or perpetual Monday through Friday traffic jams. However, despite any trial or hardship asking for it may bring, patience is a part of God's personality that we must not neglect in growing. Doing so would be like going to an amusement park with the expectation that the workers disassembled all of your least favorite roller coasters just so you'd be fully comfortable riding all the rides you especially like.
Here's a pretty raw cut of what the Bible says about patience:
Patience is the product of God's Spirit. Growing fruit does not spontaneously occur but instead takes much work, discomfort, and time. One must be willing to go through whatever process his or her Gardner chooses to taste the sweetness of the Gardner's seed. ("But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."Galatians 5:22)
One must choose to be patient. In the same way as not getting dressed in the morning would land you rather unprepared for the day, not intentionally choosing to be patient will leave you impatient. Yes, patience is a fruit that must be grown and cultivated by God, but laying back in laziness and arrogance will not help you become any more patient. In the NIV translation, the verse below says to "clothe" yourself with patience. That implies a physical and intentional decision. Imagine a closet full of godly qualities. You've got to physically put those clothes on in order to wear them, don't you? ("So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12)
Really, patience is the way to go...In the same way it might take an outside influence to point out that eating an entire tub of frosting isn't the best idea, it takes this blunt, straight-forward verse to say that patience is far better than pride. Interestingly enough, since patience and pride are mentioned it the same thought, it makes me wonder if people are impatient because of their own pride.(Crazy, I know!) Pride has everything to do with pleasing the self first or above all others even remotely involved. Patience, on the other hand, gives importance to the last and the least. Remember what Jesus said about those? ("Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit." Ecclesiastes 7:8b)
Do not think lightly of the patience God Himself shows us. We have every reason to praise God! He is kind! He is tolerant! He is patient! If it weren't for these qualities, we would be left completely hopeless! ("Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?"Romans 2:4)
Finally, I implore you as Paul so earnestly did in Ephesians 4:1-3:
Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Every action you perform, whether for yourself or another, has only two powers: to create unity or division in the body of Christ. Which will you choose?
So what are you impatient about? What do you do while your waiting?
It is easy to pray for most fruit of the Spirit. I mean, who wouldn't want to be loving, joyous, peaceable, kind, filled with goodness, gentle, and self-controlled? While that fruit is just ask laborous to cultivate as patience is, it's not as scary to ask for as it is to ask for patience! Somehow, there's a speculation that when one prays to be patient, something difficult will occur in the life of the pray-er--you know, like a drawn out decision, an annoying neighbor, or perpetual Monday through Friday traffic jams. However, despite any trial or hardship asking for it may bring, patience is a part of God's personality that we must not neglect in growing. Doing so would be like going to an amusement park with the expectation that the workers disassembled all of your least favorite roller coasters just so you'd be fully comfortable riding all the rides you especially like.
Here's a pretty raw cut of what the Bible says about patience:
Patience is the product of God's Spirit. Growing fruit does not spontaneously occur but instead takes much work, discomfort, and time. One must be willing to go through whatever process his or her Gardner chooses to taste the sweetness of the Gardner's seed. ("But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control."Galatians 5:22)
One must choose to be patient. In the same way as not getting dressed in the morning would land you rather unprepared for the day, not intentionally choosing to be patient will leave you impatient. Yes, patience is a fruit that must be grown and cultivated by God, but laying back in laziness and arrogance will not help you become any more patient. In the NIV translation, the verse below says to "clothe" yourself with patience. That implies a physical and intentional decision. Imagine a closet full of godly qualities. You've got to physically put those clothes on in order to wear them, don't you? ("So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12)
Really, patience is the way to go...In the same way it might take an outside influence to point out that eating an entire tub of frosting isn't the best idea, it takes this blunt, straight-forward verse to say that patience is far better than pride. Interestingly enough, since patience and pride are mentioned it the same thought, it makes me wonder if people are impatient because of their own pride.(Crazy, I know!) Pride has everything to do with pleasing the self first or above all others even remotely involved. Patience, on the other hand, gives importance to the last and the least. Remember what Jesus said about those? ("Patience of spirit is better than haughtiness of spirit." Ecclesiastes 7:8b)
Do not think lightly of the patience God Himself shows us. We have every reason to praise God! He is kind! He is tolerant! He is patient! If it weren't for these qualities, we would be left completely hopeless! ("Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?"Romans 2:4)
Finally, I implore you as Paul so earnestly did in Ephesians 4:1-3:
Walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Every action you perform, whether for yourself or another, has only two powers: to create unity or division in the body of Christ. Which will you choose?
So what are you impatient about? What do you do while your waiting?
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Changes
Starting Christmas Day, I would like to use my blog to talk a little bit about the word studies I will be doing. Each day, I will look at a new word, what the Bible has to say about it, and what that means for real life. Also, in an effort to refocus my attention on the Word, the people around me, and to prayer, I will only go on Facebook on Saturdays for the rest of Christmas break. I may reconsider for J-term depending on how this goes. I want to discipline myself for the sake of godliness and I do not want media to distract me. As much as I dislike talking on the phone, I will begin accepting calls again because people are important to me. And if you know me at all, you know how much I love letters. :) So yes... Less Facebook. More real and intentional communication.
:)
I'm excited about this!!
Tomorrow, I will be looking at the word patience.
Merry Christmas Eve!!
:)
I'm excited about this!!
Tomorrow, I will be looking at the word patience.
Merry Christmas Eve!!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Trigger
So after a night of brutal battle, God-orchestrated conversation with old friends, and a creepy Christmas movie on Hallmark, God was in control. I mean, He was in control the entire time, but I wasn't letting Him control ME. By the end of the night, I remembered that often times, when God surfaces something from your spirit that does not belong, it will attempt to work through the flesh. So it looks like God had been turning my temperature up all day in hopes that more of my impurities would surface and He'd be able to scoop them out. So by the end of the day, I had experienced a wiiddee array of emotions that all stemmed from finding your identity in God and not people. It had a lot to do with the high high high percentage of beautiful people I met at church that day, the sadness I felt because I couldn't be with my mom, and the break in consistency I had been a part of for a good chunk of time. So I thought all of that was nailed to the cross, but I guess there was still some left in me, tainting God's spirit. So it came to the surface, and God is beginning to scoop it out today.
I feel lighter.
My smile is brighter.
But it's still uncomfortable.
I'm still feeling tendencies to hold on, to surpress, to run away.
But I know that this is part of the process, and as my Refiner works on me, He is close close close. He will not let me down. He will be continually faithful. He will be everything I cannot be. And this is all for a purpose. By the end of it all, I hope my Maker will see His reflection in me. That is worth every bit of pain, twinge of discomfort, and moment of despair. For my Maker, I'll do it. I want to reflect His beauty, and if it means it will take pain in order for that to happen, I'll do it.
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19
So after that long, long night, I was sitting on the Walthall basement bed and lo and be hold, a little mouse came hurling down the stairs! My jaw dropped. I held my breath as if that would somehow save the day. With wide eyes, I jumped to the stairs, trying to let my feet touch the ground as little as possible. I searched for Claire all over the house and attempted to tell her. She didn't believe me at first, but eventually she did. We creeped down stairs, convinced Trigger (we named him) had already made it to the bed. Our minds jumped forward and we drew our feet further into the covers, hoping Trigger wouldn't bite our toes. For the first time in hours, I laughed.
I can't believe I spent such a long time within the confines of my very self. What a wasted evening...not because of what was going around me but what was waging war inside of me. I surely am not fully pleasing to God when I live according to my own will and emotions. Lord, forgive me...God was not glorified that evening, but by golly today'll be different.
Who knew God would use a little mouse to turn my mood around? :)
Lord, my strength is gone to fight for You. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. Jesus, rid me of myself...I don't want to waste another evening so focused on myself and what I think I need and want. I'm sorry... Will You reign in my spirit today? I want to be emptied of everything I am and filled with everything You are. I want to bear good fruit for You, Jesus. I want people to see me, taste Your fruit, and praise You!! God, here I am. But You must be the active worker here. I am not able, so You must be my strength. I trust You. I surrender to You. Thank You for Your mercy and for not giving up on me...Only You, Lord...Only You...
I feel lighter.
My smile is brighter.
But it's still uncomfortable.
I'm still feeling tendencies to hold on, to surpress, to run away.
But I know that this is part of the process, and as my Refiner works on me, He is close close close. He will not let me down. He will be continually faithful. He will be everything I cannot be. And this is all for a purpose. By the end of it all, I hope my Maker will see His reflection in me. That is worth every bit of pain, twinge of discomfort, and moment of despair. For my Maker, I'll do it. I want to reflect His beauty, and if it means it will take pain in order for that to happen, I'll do it.
"Many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19
So after that long, long night, I was sitting on the Walthall basement bed and lo and be hold, a little mouse came hurling down the stairs! My jaw dropped. I held my breath as if that would somehow save the day. With wide eyes, I jumped to the stairs, trying to let my feet touch the ground as little as possible. I searched for Claire all over the house and attempted to tell her. She didn't believe me at first, but eventually she did. We creeped down stairs, convinced Trigger (we named him) had already made it to the bed. Our minds jumped forward and we drew our feet further into the covers, hoping Trigger wouldn't bite our toes. For the first time in hours, I laughed.
I can't believe I spent such a long time within the confines of my very self. What a wasted evening...not because of what was going around me but what was waging war inside of me. I surely am not fully pleasing to God when I live according to my own will and emotions. Lord, forgive me...God was not glorified that evening, but by golly today'll be different.
Who knew God would use a little mouse to turn my mood around? :)
Lord, my strength is gone to fight for You. My spirit is willing, but my flesh is weak. Jesus, rid me of myself...I don't want to waste another evening so focused on myself and what I think I need and want. I'm sorry... Will You reign in my spirit today? I want to be emptied of everything I am and filled with everything You are. I want to bear good fruit for You, Jesus. I want people to see me, taste Your fruit, and praise You!! God, here I am. But You must be the active worker here. I am not able, so You must be my strength. I trust You. I surrender to You. Thank You for Your mercy and for not giving up on me...Only You, Lord...Only You...
Succeptible
Even while I'm feeling the desire to feed my flesh, I am making the hard choice to believe God's promises. At the time being, my heart is waging war against my mind, giving its all to hold what it holds dear and fight the lies my mind is trying to believe. I choose to lean on God for every desire in my feminine heart and allow Him to meet my needs as person. My flesh is succeptible to it's tendencies, but it can only grow if I feed it. But I refuse to do that. With the sharp, double-edged Sword, I'll cut down everything that is not of God and submit to my Gardner to grow fruit once again.
As I attempt to sleep, I pray that God will transform and renew my mind.
He said joy comes in the morning.
C'mon, Sunrise. Come quick.
I want to bear fruit for my Maker that is sweet to His taste, brings Him great pleasure, and allow His people to take of what He's grown in me, eat, and have a constant longing for everything that is God. I want God's people to see God when they see me.
I have a long way to go.
I want to be there now.
But I must be patient in getting there.
So today, I'll focus on my Maker and submitting to His Gardening tools, enduring the pain and smiling in great and giddy anticipation of His presence in the process.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
When I am afraid, I will trust in God.
God cannot lie.
Joy will come in the morning.
God gives new mercies every day.
I am God's beloved bride.
He is jealous for the Spirit He has placed in me.
He alone is my fulfillment.
He can satisfy my every longing.
His pursuit is tangible.
His love is real.
He is enough.
And always will be.
His validation is enough.
(deep breaths)
(deep breaths)
(deep breaths)
As I attempt to sleep, I pray that God will transform and renew my mind.
He said joy comes in the morning.
C'mon, Sunrise. Come quick.
I want to bear fruit for my Maker that is sweet to His taste, brings Him great pleasure, and allow His people to take of what He's grown in me, eat, and have a constant longing for everything that is God. I want God's people to see God when they see me.
I have a long way to go.
I want to be there now.
But I must be patient in getting there.
So today, I'll focus on my Maker and submitting to His Gardening tools, enduring the pain and smiling in great and giddy anticipation of His presence in the process.
The joy of the Lord is my strength.
When I am afraid, I will trust in God.
God cannot lie.
Joy will come in the morning.
God gives new mercies every day.
I am God's beloved bride.
He is jealous for the Spirit He has placed in me.
He alone is my fulfillment.
He can satisfy my every longing.
His pursuit is tangible.
His love is real.
He is enough.
And always will be.
His validation is enough.
(deep breaths)
(deep breaths)
(deep breaths)
Friday, December 18, 2009
Entirely Smitten
Lord, You live in me
You're my best friend
You're the King of kings
The beginning and end
Now that You have my eyes
I see Your spirit inside of me
All that I am is for You
My Savior
I live by Your word
And surrender to You
Here where I stand in this moment, Father
My spirit has been renewed
I surrender to You
You hold the key to my life
In Your loving hand
Always by my side
I offer all that I am
So glad I realize
You are the Truth and the Light
In my life
Everything I need, I find in You
I believe Your promises are true
I will lift my burdens up to you
Your loving grace will see me through
I surrender to You
You compel me
You convince me
You are my supply
You pursue me
You speak to me
You hear my reply
There is no name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no Name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
You engage me
You arrange me
You call me Your own
You have found me
You surround me
You've made Yourself known
There is no name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
You were, You are, You always will be
You are, You are
You were, You are, You always will be
You are, You are
There is no Name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one
There is no Name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no Name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
Don't let me go, Lord.
You're my best friend
You're the King of kings
The beginning and end
Now that You have my eyes
I see Your spirit inside of me
All that I am is for You
My Savior
I live by Your word
And surrender to You
Here where I stand in this moment, Father
My spirit has been renewed
I surrender to You
You hold the key to my life
In Your loving hand
Always by my side
I offer all that I am
So glad I realize
You are the Truth and the Light
In my life
Everything I need, I find in You
I believe Your promises are true
I will lift my burdens up to you
Your loving grace will see me through
I surrender to You
You compel me
You convince me
You are my supply
You pursue me
You speak to me
You hear my reply
There is no name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no Name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
You engage me
You arrange me
You call me Your own
You have found me
You surround me
You've made Yourself known
There is no name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
You were, You are, You always will be
You are, You are
You were, You are, You always will be
You are, You are
There is no Name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one
There is no Name above Yours
No other one will do
No other one will do
There is no Name I love more
Nobody else like You
Nobody else like You, Jesus
Don't let me go, Lord.
Consistency
Anybody can be faithful for a few hours, a day, or maybe even a couple of days. Anybody can choose godliness or sacrificial love love when it's easy. Girls and boys can do those things. But only men and women can be continually faithful and love sacrificially even when it's hard.
I want to be among the latter group.
Even when it's hard, I want to choose You. Even when it hurts, I want to choose You. Even when it doesn't make sense, I want to choose You. Even when I can't see what's going to happen next, I want to choose You. And even when I'm tired, I want to love. Even when I'm annoyed, I want to be patient. Even when I'm anxious, I want to be still. Even when I am in need, I want to serve.
I want to be consistent.
I want to be among the latter group.
Even when it's hard, I want to choose You. Even when it hurts, I want to choose You. Even when it doesn't make sense, I want to choose You. Even when I can't see what's going to happen next, I want to choose You. And even when I'm tired, I want to love. Even when I'm annoyed, I want to be patient. Even when I'm anxious, I want to be still. Even when I am in need, I want to serve.
I want to be consistent.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Fear and Doubt
Like two elementary best friends, fear and doubt go hand in hand. You can't have one without the other. And where one is in excess, you're sure to find the other.
In the same way, when one feels fear, he or she is saying that God is not big enough, strong enough, or in control. Fear implies a loss or weakness of trust in God.
I am feeling that tendency lately, but I'm choosing to fight it.
I am fully aware that God is and will be who He says He is. He told me He cannot lie, so I know He's truthful when He says He will always be with me, that He is in control, and that He has plans to prosper me. If God Himself said He cannot lie, then why would He lie when He said that in His Word?
I want to over analyze. I want to jump ahead. I want to think that God's blessings are temporary, too good to be true, and fleeting. I want to rationalize reality and make it less than it is. I want to run away. But none of that lines up with how I am supposed to behave as a child of the King. He says to be still and know He is God. That small verse sums up everything I need to do to combat these feelings of distrust, anxiousness, and fear. If I just be still and know that God is God, I'll be alright.
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
So I'll trust God with my story. I'll believe that He's written one far better than I ever could. I'm just so excited to read ahead, ya know?
Deep breaths.
I choose God.
In the same way, when one feels fear, he or she is saying that God is not big enough, strong enough, or in control. Fear implies a loss or weakness of trust in God.
I am feeling that tendency lately, but I'm choosing to fight it.
I am fully aware that God is and will be who He says He is. He told me He cannot lie, so I know He's truthful when He says He will always be with me, that He is in control, and that He has plans to prosper me. If God Himself said He cannot lie, then why would He lie when He said that in His Word?
I want to over analyze. I want to jump ahead. I want to think that God's blessings are temporary, too good to be true, and fleeting. I want to rationalize reality and make it less than it is. I want to run away. But none of that lines up with how I am supposed to behave as a child of the King. He says to be still and know He is God. That small verse sums up everything I need to do to combat these feelings of distrust, anxiousness, and fear. If I just be still and know that God is God, I'll be alright.
"But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;in all your ways acknowledge Him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6
So I'll trust God with my story. I'll believe that He's written one far better than I ever could. I'm just so excited to read ahead, ya know?
Deep breaths.
I choose God.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Reflection
With the frozen ground under my feet and the snowflakes dancing down from the dark sky, I can't help but remember everything summer. My body is chilled, my cheeks are rosy, but to God be the glory, summer still fills my heart.
Nearly every single day this summer, I awoke with the sunrise and watched light explode across the horizon. With bright eyes,I met morning with Jesus beside me and together, we praised God for all that was around us. My favorite mornings were when the fog creeped across the surface of the lake and when all I could hear were the minnows swimming beneath my feet. Everything I loved was around me, and despite the extreme, heart-wretching pain I knew I would face each and every day that summer, I knew that just for that small amount of time, I'd know Love.
So morning greeted me with Love, but it didn't take long for the ripping, trashing, and tearing to take place. With just one look, a moment's avoidance, or a single word, I allowed a human to steal morning's glory from my heart and fill me with deep-set despair and great feelings of inadequacy and failure. Looking back now, I can only imagine the pain my Bridegroom had to have felt to see me at such a state. I feel foolish for allowing a human to poison me for so long, but even that had a purpose.
Morning turned into mid-day, and still, Love surrounded me. God continually, faithfully, persistently, and patiently pursued me with a wild, surprising, breathtaking, magnificent Love. I didn't see it then, but now I do. Each flower in the meadow, each dragon fly buzzing around my kyack, each curve of the dirt road, each lazy bee by the apple tree was a reminder of my King's undying love and desire for me.
I miss breaking out of the office, hopping on my bike, and pedaling has hard as I can until my muscles give out. I miss running up those huge hills and collapsing at the top. I miss sneaking into the lake in the morning and hoping my boss doesn't see me. I miss getting lost in the woods and discovering new country roads. I miss picking piles and piles of wildflowers only to see them all blow away in the wind. I miss the birds as my alarm clock and the apples outside my office as my snack. I miss catching minnows and burrying shells for the campers to find later that day. I miss running away from the skunk that lived under my camper and I miss the diamonds my Savior put in the sky for me each night.
The snow is beautiful but I miss almost everything summer. There's just something about nature that God uses to reveal Himself specifically to me, and I really, really miss it. I am entirely convinced that God grew every single wildflower to prove His love to me. For each little reminder that died off, He changed a leaf's color. And with each leaf that fell from the trees, He gave me a memory of something that once was. And now, just like every other day, I have the Word of my Savior and the snow that blankets the frozen, chilly ground as a reminder of just how much my Bridegroom loves me. I look forward to summer days coming again, but until then, I'll look up, see my Savior's love falling from the cloudy skies, and let summer fill my heart.
But even with all of summer's beauty, I'd never go back to it if it meant I had to experience it along side the poison I took in daily. As a result of my own will, I experienced pain and disappointment every single day this summer because I denied my Savior's plead to surrender.But praise God, I am able to be ridiculously thankful today for the rich blessings my Savior has been giving me daily as a result of this fall's obedience in surrender.
I no longer know fear. I no longer experience the pain I used to. My Savior's love is beginning to thickly cover my vivid memories of the pain of batterment and mistreatment. Freedom, bliss, joy, and laughter have been my heart's song for nearly three full months now and I cannot even express the sweet, sweet peace I feel as I lay completely content and entirely fulfilled in the arms of my Father.
So tomorrow I'll meet the sunrise with Jesus by my side, and together, we'll praise God for the radiance of winter and the bliss of surrender. He will be my sole pursuit, and I'll respond to His love. My day will be completely surrendered and God will move. Together, we'll warm the hearts of His people and spread the joy and victory of Jesus Christ and Him crucified.
Can I get an amen?
Nearly every single day this summer, I awoke with the sunrise and watched light explode across the horizon. With bright eyes,I met morning with Jesus beside me and together, we praised God for all that was around us. My favorite mornings were when the fog creeped across the surface of the lake and when all I could hear were the minnows swimming beneath my feet. Everything I loved was around me, and despite the extreme, heart-wretching pain I knew I would face each and every day that summer, I knew that just for that small amount of time, I'd know Love.
So morning greeted me with Love, but it didn't take long for the ripping, trashing, and tearing to take place. With just one look, a moment's avoidance, or a single word, I allowed a human to steal morning's glory from my heart and fill me with deep-set despair and great feelings of inadequacy and failure. Looking back now, I can only imagine the pain my Bridegroom had to have felt to see me at such a state. I feel foolish for allowing a human to poison me for so long, but even that had a purpose.
Morning turned into mid-day, and still, Love surrounded me. God continually, faithfully, persistently, and patiently pursued me with a wild, surprising, breathtaking, magnificent Love. I didn't see it then, but now I do. Each flower in the meadow, each dragon fly buzzing around my kyack, each curve of the dirt road, each lazy bee by the apple tree was a reminder of my King's undying love and desire for me.
I miss breaking out of the office, hopping on my bike, and pedaling has hard as I can until my muscles give out. I miss running up those huge hills and collapsing at the top. I miss sneaking into the lake in the morning and hoping my boss doesn't see me. I miss getting lost in the woods and discovering new country roads. I miss picking piles and piles of wildflowers only to see them all blow away in the wind. I miss the birds as my alarm clock and the apples outside my office as my snack. I miss catching minnows and burrying shells for the campers to find later that day. I miss running away from the skunk that lived under my camper and I miss the diamonds my Savior put in the sky for me each night.
The snow is beautiful but I miss almost everything summer. There's just something about nature that God uses to reveal Himself specifically to me, and I really, really miss it. I am entirely convinced that God grew every single wildflower to prove His love to me. For each little reminder that died off, He changed a leaf's color. And with each leaf that fell from the trees, He gave me a memory of something that once was. And now, just like every other day, I have the Word of my Savior and the snow that blankets the frozen, chilly ground as a reminder of just how much my Bridegroom loves me. I look forward to summer days coming again, but until then, I'll look up, see my Savior's love falling from the cloudy skies, and let summer fill my heart.
But even with all of summer's beauty, I'd never go back to it if it meant I had to experience it along side the poison I took in daily. As a result of my own will, I experienced pain and disappointment every single day this summer because I denied my Savior's plead to surrender.But praise God, I am able to be ridiculously thankful today for the rich blessings my Savior has been giving me daily as a result of this fall's obedience in surrender.
I no longer know fear. I no longer experience the pain I used to. My Savior's love is beginning to thickly cover my vivid memories of the pain of batterment and mistreatment. Freedom, bliss, joy, and laughter have been my heart's song for nearly three full months now and I cannot even express the sweet, sweet peace I feel as I lay completely content and entirely fulfilled in the arms of my Father.
So tomorrow I'll meet the sunrise with Jesus by my side, and together, we'll praise God for the radiance of winter and the bliss of surrender. He will be my sole pursuit, and I'll respond to His love. My day will be completely surrendered and God will move. Together, we'll warm the hearts of His people and spread the joy and victory of Jesus Christ and Him crucified.
Can I get an amen?
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Sacrificial Love
Lord, if I became any happier, I think I'd burst! I wonder if it's possible to be any happier... But somehow, I know this is only a fraction of the happiness You're going to let me feel.
This last night, I had the great, great, GREAT joy of wrapping piles and piles of Christmas presents into the wee hours of the morning with my wonderful co-RAs. Wrapping paper was strewn about the room, tape was flying through the air, and the scissors were somehow always lost. Smiles were plastered on the faces of every person that was secretly locked in the RA office. There was great and giddy anticipation of the sneaky Santa-esque loveliness going on behind those office doors. Every care in the world was left outside, and like our friend Buddy the Elf taught so well, we spread Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear.
And then morning came. My alarm sounded at 4:44am and I shot out of bed, not remembering why I had to wake up so early. Then it hit me and a smile spread across my face. I snuck out of bed and tried not to disturb the sleeping beauty that was resting on the bunk below me, lazily and crookedly stumbled into the hallway, and went down stairs to get ready for all of Muffitt Hall to meet Christmas ten days early. We sleepily scrambled around getting the lounge ready for our girls, made sticky buns, and wassail. Then 5:25 came. The. Best. Part. Of. The. Night.
I woke Claire up and we snuck out of the room, put a radio in the hallway, and blasted Christmasy goodness into the sleeping ears of our residents. Then we snuck into each girl's bed and woke them up with a big big smile, reminding them of the wonderfulness that was going to happen downstairs. We were met with a wide variety of responses. Nearly every girl was just as excited as we were (which was, ahem, A LOT), but there were a few who needed a little...uh...help. So, like giddy little girls, my room mate and I coaxed each girl out of bed and down stairs. I loved, loved, loved being a part of something so wonderful, and even better, sacrificing something I "needed" to make another smile.
You see, it's easy to love when all the cards are lined up, when everything's going good, and when you're needs are met. But when you have to sacrifice something of your own to love another, that's when it gets hard--but really, that's the greatest love of all. I got to choose to love today, and I'm really glad I did. :) :) :)
Every single day, I tell myself that it is impossible for me to be any happier. Then tomorrow comes, and defeats yesterday with an even richer, sweeter, greater happiness.
Wowza.
God. Is. Good.
Bottom line.
Praise God...
This last night, I had the great, great, GREAT joy of wrapping piles and piles of Christmas presents into the wee hours of the morning with my wonderful co-RAs. Wrapping paper was strewn about the room, tape was flying through the air, and the scissors were somehow always lost. Smiles were plastered on the faces of every person that was secretly locked in the RA office. There was great and giddy anticipation of the sneaky Santa-esque loveliness going on behind those office doors. Every care in the world was left outside, and like our friend Buddy the Elf taught so well, we spread Christmas cheer by singing loud for all to hear.
And then morning came. My alarm sounded at 4:44am and I shot out of bed, not remembering why I had to wake up so early. Then it hit me and a smile spread across my face. I snuck out of bed and tried not to disturb the sleeping beauty that was resting on the bunk below me, lazily and crookedly stumbled into the hallway, and went down stairs to get ready for all of Muffitt Hall to meet Christmas ten days early. We sleepily scrambled around getting the lounge ready for our girls, made sticky buns, and wassail. Then 5:25 came. The. Best. Part. Of. The. Night.
I woke Claire up and we snuck out of the room, put a radio in the hallway, and blasted Christmasy goodness into the sleeping ears of our residents. Then we snuck into each girl's bed and woke them up with a big big smile, reminding them of the wonderfulness that was going to happen downstairs. We were met with a wide variety of responses. Nearly every girl was just as excited as we were (which was, ahem, A LOT), but there were a few who needed a little...uh...help. So, like giddy little girls, my room mate and I coaxed each girl out of bed and down stairs. I loved, loved, loved being a part of something so wonderful, and even better, sacrificing something I "needed" to make another smile.
You see, it's easy to love when all the cards are lined up, when everything's going good, and when you're needs are met. But when you have to sacrifice something of your own to love another, that's when it gets hard--but really, that's the greatest love of all. I got to choose to love today, and I'm really glad I did. :) :) :)
Every single day, I tell myself that it is impossible for me to be any happier. Then tomorrow comes, and defeats yesterday with an even richer, sweeter, greater happiness.
Wowza.
God. Is. Good.
Bottom line.
Praise God...
'Tis the Season
Almost indefinitely, they play and they play and they play. By the time Christmas comes, we can barely stand what we're hearing, right? I'm talking about Christmas songs, you know, like "Up on the Housetop," "Silent Night," and "Jingle Bells." We know them well, and they're stuck in our heads for weeks into the new year.
This is coming from the girl who starts playing Christmas music before Halloween and can be caught singing these songs all year 'round.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS, but my only perbetuate is when we fail to really, and I mean really, know what we're singing around Christmas time. Just like much of what we sing in church and listen to on the radio, a lot of Christmas music bears the name of our Savior, carries a rich, sweet depiction of who God is, and is woven together with elements of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Can we please (in all seriousness) stop and think about what the words to some of the most popular Christmas songs are saying? Just a few thousand years ago, the God who made the oceans deep and the God who made the stars twinkle and the God who made apples red and oranges orange emptied Himself and became a helpless little baby boy. You know the rest of the story. Can we worship our King?
"O come, let us adore Him."
"Glory to God, all glory to God."
"O come all ye faithful."
"Who would not love Thee, loving us so dearly?"
"Son of God, love's pure light. Radiant beams from Thy holy face with the dawn of redeeming grace."
"O come, Desire of nations, bind in one the hearts of all mankind."
"Let every heart prepare Him room."
"He comes to make His blessings flow."
"Peace on earth and mercy mild. God and sinners reconciled."
"Light and life to all He brings. Ris'n with healing in His wings."
"O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel."
The King has come. The King was here. And He left us with His victory and His Spirit. Can we worship Him?
This is coming from the girl who starts playing Christmas music before Halloween and can be caught singing these songs all year 'round.
I LOVE CHRISTMAS, but my only perbetuate is when we fail to really, and I mean really, know what we're singing around Christmas time. Just like much of what we sing in church and listen to on the radio, a lot of Christmas music bears the name of our Savior, carries a rich, sweet depiction of who God is, and is woven together with elements of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Can we please (in all seriousness) stop and think about what the words to some of the most popular Christmas songs are saying? Just a few thousand years ago, the God who made the oceans deep and the God who made the stars twinkle and the God who made apples red and oranges orange emptied Himself and became a helpless little baby boy. You know the rest of the story. Can we worship our King?
"O come, let us adore Him."
"Glory to God, all glory to God."
"O come all ye faithful."
"Who would not love Thee, loving us so dearly?"
"Son of God, love's pure light. Radiant beams from Thy holy face with the dawn of redeeming grace."
"O come, Desire of nations, bind in one the hearts of all mankind."
"Let every heart prepare Him room."
"He comes to make His blessings flow."
"Peace on earth and mercy mild. God and sinners reconciled."
"Light and life to all He brings. Ris'n with healing in His wings."
"O come, O come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel."
The King has come. The King was here. And He left us with His victory and His Spirit. Can we worship Him?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Stubborn, Perpetual Surrender
Being that I've been the baby of my family for, well, my entire life, I had always been rather adamant about getting what I want, whether that was the M & M's at check out or a college education. When you pair that up with my crazy, dreamer's mind, you get a bad, bad concoction. For the first nineteen years of my life, I was so, so, so stubborn about fulfilling my own dreams, my own passions, and my own interests all while using all my own drives. I made decisions based on what myself or others wanted and didn't understand the concept of God having a will and plan of His own. But, you see, that's not how it's supposed to be. Christianity isn't a label that allows the human to have a will of his or her own. Quite differently, Christianity is the literal unification of the human's will to God's will.
So I had a very strong will, set on making my dreams come true and living out every passion. It worked. I did those things, but the product of my efforts were not sweet. Oftentimes, the product of my will was painful, bitter, hateful, tainted, damaged, or completely out of wack. You see, I got what my flesh wanted but my spirit bound.
My will began to die its slow, slow death at age nineteen when I saw that these lofty plans I held high for so long were only dirty rags compared to the glory of what my King had in store for me. I saw how easy it was to rationalize my sin as hoped for dreams, holding on to the fruit I hoped to see grow in something man-made. Day after day, I remained glued to my own will, sludging through my own heavy dreams and failing to claim the bliss of obedient surrender.
And then it hit me. A series of happenings occurred to give me great peace in ending my own plans. I saw how all of my own plans failed and the few good things in my life were all things that God Himself orchestrated and crafted by His beautiful, nail-pierced hands. I saw all of my man-made idols in comparison to my Maker's plan, and I felt so stupid. For so long, I allowed my will to live and cover God's.
But boy oh boy, how life has changed.
I died on October 2, 2009. It was a beautiful, painful, ridiculously freeing day. My very self was crucified on the cross of Christ and I hung emptied, clean, and ready to be filled with everything that God is. And the results were indescribible. I cannot explain the deep-set, rich and bubbling joy that I experienced. The bliss. The freedom. The pure, almost twinging feelings of God's Love in me. I feel this every single day, and I can only testify to my Savior's grace in allowing me to surrender everything I am in return for receiving everything that He is.
So it's not about what I want anymore, whether that be a college education, my homework to vanish, to go to this school or serve in that ministry. It is all about conforming my will to God's plan and allowing His will to be my own. My desires do not trump God's. He is to be the Lord of my heart and the will that drives me to do even the most seemingly meaningless task. We were not put on earth to do our own thing. We were created to be vessels of the One who wants to extend His grace, love, and mercy to humans.
But, of course, since I am still the baby of the family, I carry those same tendencies. A few of my friends so graciously remind me of that... Every once and a while, I find myself clinging to my own emotions, fears, anxieties, worries, and pain. But I must remember that Christ did not die for my flesh to remain living. He called me to die with Him and allow Him to resurrect me in the Power and Purity of His Love. And by golly, I will not mock my Savior's cross by bearing my very self!
We must stubbornly, perpetually, and consistently surrender to the One who surrendered all to us. Do not feel embarrassed, anxious, fearful, worried, stressed out, or anything of the sort. Christ bore each of those feelings on the cross of Calvary, and to let them stick to you, burrow under your skin, and take root in your heart is refusing Christ's victory on the cross. Do you believe that Christ died for a reason? Then claim His victory!!
So I had a very strong will, set on making my dreams come true and living out every passion. It worked. I did those things, but the product of my efforts were not sweet. Oftentimes, the product of my will was painful, bitter, hateful, tainted, damaged, or completely out of wack. You see, I got what my flesh wanted but my spirit bound.
My will began to die its slow, slow death at age nineteen when I saw that these lofty plans I held high for so long were only dirty rags compared to the glory of what my King had in store for me. I saw how easy it was to rationalize my sin as hoped for dreams, holding on to the fruit I hoped to see grow in something man-made. Day after day, I remained glued to my own will, sludging through my own heavy dreams and failing to claim the bliss of obedient surrender.
And then it hit me. A series of happenings occurred to give me great peace in ending my own plans. I saw how all of my own plans failed and the few good things in my life were all things that God Himself orchestrated and crafted by His beautiful, nail-pierced hands. I saw all of my man-made idols in comparison to my Maker's plan, and I felt so stupid. For so long, I allowed my will to live and cover God's.
But boy oh boy, how life has changed.
I died on October 2, 2009. It was a beautiful, painful, ridiculously freeing day. My very self was crucified on the cross of Christ and I hung emptied, clean, and ready to be filled with everything that God is. And the results were indescribible. I cannot explain the deep-set, rich and bubbling joy that I experienced. The bliss. The freedom. The pure, almost twinging feelings of God's Love in me. I feel this every single day, and I can only testify to my Savior's grace in allowing me to surrender everything I am in return for receiving everything that He is.
So it's not about what I want anymore, whether that be a college education, my homework to vanish, to go to this school or serve in that ministry. It is all about conforming my will to God's plan and allowing His will to be my own. My desires do not trump God's. He is to be the Lord of my heart and the will that drives me to do even the most seemingly meaningless task. We were not put on earth to do our own thing. We were created to be vessels of the One who wants to extend His grace, love, and mercy to humans.
But, of course, since I am still the baby of the family, I carry those same tendencies. A few of my friends so graciously remind me of that... Every once and a while, I find myself clinging to my own emotions, fears, anxieties, worries, and pain. But I must remember that Christ did not die for my flesh to remain living. He called me to die with Him and allow Him to resurrect me in the Power and Purity of His Love. And by golly, I will not mock my Savior's cross by bearing my very self!
We must stubbornly, perpetually, and consistently surrender to the One who surrendered all to us. Do not feel embarrassed, anxious, fearful, worried, stressed out, or anything of the sort. Christ bore each of those feelings on the cross of Calvary, and to let them stick to you, burrow under your skin, and take root in your heart is refusing Christ's victory on the cross. Do you believe that Christ died for a reason? Then claim His victory!!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Served
When one focuses all her attention on Christ, every blessing is a magnificent surprise. I can testify to this very directly.
Everything has changed since last year. When I think about this, I am completely blown away. Last December, I was discontent, battered, used, frail, and searching. I sludged through my Savior's victory. This December, however, I am fully content with every circumstance, dignified, protected, valiant, and overfilled. I am noticing that as I give all my attention to Christ, the side blessings of life are extremely sweet, everything rich, and jarringly wonderful.
I do not deserve these things.
For the first time ever, my identity in Christ is being validated, my purity is being protected, my dignity is being honored, and my heart is being treasured. I've never so consistently felt like a lady...It is shocking. It catches me off guard. I am experiencing everything that Christ has done for so long in human form.
Wow.
Surprise!
It's crazy how after you give up your plans and allow God to read you His story for your life how the blessings increase magnificently...I did not write this into my story. I did not plan for it to go this way.
Lord, I trust You with the pen. Only You could make this story even better... Lord, You are surprising me almost continually! Thank You, thank You, thank You.
Everything has changed since last year. When I think about this, I am completely blown away. Last December, I was discontent, battered, used, frail, and searching. I sludged through my Savior's victory. This December, however, I am fully content with every circumstance, dignified, protected, valiant, and overfilled. I am noticing that as I give all my attention to Christ, the side blessings of life are extremely sweet, everything rich, and jarringly wonderful.
I do not deserve these things.
For the first time ever, my identity in Christ is being validated, my purity is being protected, my dignity is being honored, and my heart is being treasured. I've never so consistently felt like a lady...It is shocking. It catches me off guard. I am experiencing everything that Christ has done for so long in human form.
Wow.
Surprise!
It's crazy how after you give up your plans and allow God to read you His story for your life how the blessings increase magnificently...I did not write this into my story. I did not plan for it to go this way.
Lord, I trust You with the pen. Only You could make this story even better... Lord, You are surprising me almost continually! Thank You, thank You, thank You.
Friday, December 11, 2009
With today's sunrise...
...comes the fear, unknown, and mystery of yesterday. I don't want to wake up with that dictating my day, so I'm giving it up now.
Today, a whole lot could happen. Family relationships could be reconciled or driven farther apart. Laughter could be made or tears could be shed. Souls could be won for Christ or God-blockades could be made.
I want to wake up remembering that I am a vessel to be held, directed, and used by God Himself. Just as a cup has no will of its own and its only purpose is to be filled, so do I want my life to be.
So tonight, just like a little cup, I'll be held by the strong, sweet hand of my King, empty myself of every fear, need, emotion, hope, and dream and be filled with Everything that is my Maker.
Here I am, Lord. Pick me.
Today, a whole lot could happen. Family relationships could be reconciled or driven farther apart. Laughter could be made or tears could be shed. Souls could be won for Christ or God-blockades could be made.
I want to wake up remembering that I am a vessel to be held, directed, and used by God Himself. Just as a cup has no will of its own and its only purpose is to be filled, so do I want my life to be.
So tonight, just like a little cup, I'll be held by the strong, sweet hand of my King, empty myself of every fear, need, emotion, hope, and dream and be filled with Everything that is my Maker.
Here I am, Lord. Pick me.
Lord,
I trust You. You will do as You promised. You know me better than I know myself. Will You be the Scripter and orchestrate it all? Oh, my King...I trust You.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Because of Me
I am continually reminded why Jesus had to die.
If it were only me in the world, my sin would be enough to drive God Himself to the bloody, messy, beautiful cross.
Today was a constant battle. I had unspeakable joy. I was beaming. And the devil hated it. He tried to whisper lies to my heart and tear me down. And he won a little bit today. I woke up standing, jumping, leaping. But now I feel like I'm barely crawling.
He just kept reminding me of all the sin that used to be in my life. He tried to make me believe that it was still around. Goodness. I feel defeated, but I know that's a fleshly feeling. My Jesus didn't die on the cross for nothing. He had to die because of MY own sin, but He won for me, too.
So I'll go to sleep with my flesh feeling defeated, but praise God, my heart will be screaming the victory of my Savior. No matter how hard the devil tries, he cannot quiet my heart.
If it were only me in the world, my sin would be enough to drive God Himself to the bloody, messy, beautiful cross.
Today was a constant battle. I had unspeakable joy. I was beaming. And the devil hated it. He tried to whisper lies to my heart and tear me down. And he won a little bit today. I woke up standing, jumping, leaping. But now I feel like I'm barely crawling.
He just kept reminding me of all the sin that used to be in my life. He tried to make me believe that it was still around. Goodness. I feel defeated, but I know that's a fleshly feeling. My Jesus didn't die on the cross for nothing. He had to die because of MY own sin, but He won for me, too.
So I'll go to sleep with my flesh feeling defeated, but praise God, my heart will be screaming the victory of my Savior. No matter how hard the devil tries, he cannot quiet my heart.
Friday, December 4, 2009
She
She blended into the crowd like a blood-red cat spouting sparkles.
Gratitude
Devotion
Grateful
Always gentle, always patient, always kind, she breathed life into hearts of pepper and souls of Skittles.
Prayer-warrior
Sister
Faithful
She possessed a jarring beauty that can only be described as resplendent.
Pierce
Gem
Radiance
Gratitude
Devotion
Grateful
Always gentle, always patient, always kind, she breathed life into hearts of pepper and souls of Skittles.
Prayer-warrior
Sister
Faithful
She possessed a jarring beauty that can only be described as resplendent.
Pierce
Gem
Radiance
Soar
I've been set free
From all the strings that were holding me
Held to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Darling, that's me in the sky.
I was walking with such weight
I could barely stand on my own
I was so blind to the load I carried
My feathers were ruffled, my soul was buried.
But I've been set free
From all the strings that were holding me
Held me to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Beau, that's me in the sky.
One by one, they all were cut
It hurt at first, like blows to the gut
But little by little, I began to take lift
I didn't know I was falling, but I was nearing a cliff
The He pushed me off and I began to soar
The sky was the limit, the clouds my door
Free to fall, free to fly
The wind held my wings, the sunshine my supply
Now I've been set free
From all the strings that were holding me
Held me to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Love, that's me in the sky.
From all the strings that were holding me
Held to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Darling, that's me in the sky.
I was walking with such weight
I could barely stand on my own
I was so blind to the load I carried
My feathers were ruffled, my soul was buried.
But I've been set free
From all the strings that were holding me
Held me to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Beau, that's me in the sky.
One by one, they all were cut
It hurt at first, like blows to the gut
But little by little, I began to take lift
I didn't know I was falling, but I was nearing a cliff
The He pushed me off and I began to soar
The sky was the limit, the clouds my door
Free to fall, free to fly
The wind held my wings, the sunshine my supply
Now I've been set free
From all the strings that were holding me
Held me to the earth and unable to fly
Look up, Love, that's me in the sky.
Being Helped
Helpers usually have a hard time being helped and asking for help in general. And oftentimes, helpers don't usually get asked if they need help because they look like they have it all together. This can result in exhaustion because they are constantly pouring into others' lives and not being poured into.
This is the story of my life.
However...
...today, I asked for help! And lo and behold, a few came to my rescue! It was really hard asking for help, but it was fun to be helped for once! It was nice to be served for once! It was nice to be able to relax a little bit and let others help me.
It did, however, push my buttons every once and a while. They weren't the "angry" or "annoyed" buttons. It was more like: Hey, I want to help you so will you please just let me serve you" buttons. It was a stretch for me to allow another to serve me, and I'm still not used to it. But by golly, it was nice.
I felt like a lady tonight.
:)
God sure surprised me with a few wonderful friends. :)
Thanks for giving me genuine friendship, God. I'm not used to it, but thanks. You're so faithful.
This is the story of my life.
However...
...today, I asked for help! And lo and behold, a few came to my rescue! It was really hard asking for help, but it was fun to be helped for once! It was nice to be served for once! It was nice to be able to relax a little bit and let others help me.
It did, however, push my buttons every once and a while. They weren't the "angry" or "annoyed" buttons. It was more like: Hey, I want to help you so will you please just let me serve you" buttons. It was a stretch for me to allow another to serve me, and I'm still not used to it. But by golly, it was nice.
I felt like a lady tonight.
:)
God sure surprised me with a few wonderful friends. :)
Thanks for giving me genuine friendship, God. I'm not used to it, but thanks. You're so faithful.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Disgust
Dear American,
Can you claim the name of Jesus Christ and deny His child food at the same time?
Are you working under societal and cultural rules or are you following the model of the Gospel?
Why spout high desires to feed the hungry of the world when you neglect the people right under your nose?
The hungry are all around us. The naked aren't far from home. Many are imprisoned and we don't even know it.
We are so wrapped up in a societal mess of ignorance. We look up and over the people who need food, clothing, and freedom. Don't let your passion to feed the hungry allow you to overlook the people right next door.
When you deny even one person the opportunity to eat, you deny Christ Himself--even if it's right in the DC.
Sincerely,
Disgusted
Can you claim the name of Jesus Christ and deny His child food at the same time?
Are you working under societal and cultural rules or are you following the model of the Gospel?
Why spout high desires to feed the hungry of the world when you neglect the people right under your nose?
The hungry are all around us. The naked aren't far from home. Many are imprisoned and we don't even know it.
We are so wrapped up in a societal mess of ignorance. We look up and over the people who need food, clothing, and freedom. Don't let your passion to feed the hungry allow you to overlook the people right next door.
When you deny even one person the opportunity to eat, you deny Christ Himself--even if it's right in the DC.
Sincerely,
Disgusted
The Fear in Giving
We must never tarry in giving Love away for fear of vulnerability, lack of return, or jarring reception. Why must we hold captive the overflow of God Himself when there are thirsty, aching, broken, lonely, dry, hard-hearted, blinded people so close to us? While we may have reservations in giving Love away, we must not let our selfishness stand as a blockade between God and His people.
God-Love is extremely jarring to humans. If we were oil, its genuine motives, extreme faithfulness, perfect timing, and piercing Truth work as water. However, because this water is Living, it has the power to penetrate anything. So at first, like water, God's Love may just settle on the surface, but once it is stirred up, it begins to mix. But it doesn't stay that unless we continually work to keep it stirred. It is always there, but we may not feel it because no stirring has taken place.
So why is it so scary to GIVE this God-love away? I think it has something to do with how we perceive it may be received. When God's Love fills and overfills our hearts, it has no other option than to flow out of our hearts. Before you know it, the people you extend a hand to will be soaking wet, dripping in God-Love. We ourselves are soaking wet with God's rushing love. Just like when splashing a bucket of water onto a random passerbyer's face would be extremely shocking, God's Love is shocking, too! So when we love with God's love, people are going to be shocked.
To be a biblical, God-love giving Christian, you will not be entirely accepted. A few times, in a genuine effort to be an extension of my Savior's love, people have been taken aback by the love I show them. When we look at what love is as described in 1 Corinthians 13 and if we were to show that kind of love to strangers, friends, and family, they'd probably be very taken aback!
I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across. I'll be short and sweet.
We are not loving with God-Love.
We are leery to accept the God-Love people give us.
God-Love can often appear as romantic interest because of the faithfulness, genuine-ness, and devotion it carries along with it.
Be careful not to mistake faithful friendship dripping with God-love as romantic interest.
Yeah.
I didn't get my point across...
Don't be afraid to give God-Love away because you're afraid it will look like something other than what it is. Just give. And when people give you God-Love, don't automatically assume it is given with romantic interests.
Let your love be jarring. Let it be wild. Let it be wreckless. God's is. Let yours be, too.
Be the cup of Love that people are dying to drink from.
God-Love is extremely jarring to humans. If we were oil, its genuine motives, extreme faithfulness, perfect timing, and piercing Truth work as water. However, because this water is Living, it has the power to penetrate anything. So at first, like water, God's Love may just settle on the surface, but once it is stirred up, it begins to mix. But it doesn't stay that unless we continually work to keep it stirred. It is always there, but we may not feel it because no stirring has taken place.
So why is it so scary to GIVE this God-love away? I think it has something to do with how we perceive it may be received. When God's Love fills and overfills our hearts, it has no other option than to flow out of our hearts. Before you know it, the people you extend a hand to will be soaking wet, dripping in God-Love. We ourselves are soaking wet with God's rushing love. Just like when splashing a bucket of water onto a random passerbyer's face would be extremely shocking, God's Love is shocking, too! So when we love with God's love, people are going to be shocked.
To be a biblical, God-love giving Christian, you will not be entirely accepted. A few times, in a genuine effort to be an extension of my Savior's love, people have been taken aback by the love I show them. When we look at what love is as described in 1 Corinthians 13 and if we were to show that kind of love to strangers, friends, and family, they'd probably be very taken aback!
I'm not sure if I'm getting my point across. I'll be short and sweet.
We are not loving with God-Love.
We are leery to accept the God-Love people give us.
God-Love can often appear as romantic interest because of the faithfulness, genuine-ness, and devotion it carries along with it.
Be careful not to mistake faithful friendship dripping with God-love as romantic interest.
Yeah.
I didn't get my point across...
Don't be afraid to give God-Love away because you're afraid it will look like something other than what it is. Just give. And when people give you God-Love, don't automatically assume it is given with romantic interests.
Let your love be jarring. Let it be wild. Let it be wreckless. God's is. Let yours be, too.
Be the cup of Love that people are dying to drink from.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Kelly's Story: a Single Missionary to Inner-City Refugees
I am copying this story from Leslie Ludy's Sacred Singlness because it completely floored me. There were so many moments of jaw-dropped conviction. It's like God grabbed me by the shoulders, looked into my eyes, and said, "You can't look past Me anymore. I am found where you are not." Read the story below to see what I'm talking about. But don't read it if you are going to let it slip by. Reading this story will leave you accountable to its call, so don't read it until you are ready to do something about it.
"One of my breatest fears used to be the inner-city of Rochester, near where I live. Though Rochester is a wonderful place to live, there are certain areas that are some of the most dangerous in the country. All of my life, I have been told to avoid these areas.
Well-meaning Christian leaders had always said, 'There is no need for such a sweet girl like you to venture down there. You are not wanted there and are most likely to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time.'
Did I really have to go down to the city? As I looked around my church, I realized I didn't see one poor person. As I observed my neighbors, I noticed that there were no orphans, no widowns, no refugees. There were people just like me, healthy, comfortable, and well taken care of.
As I turned on the news, I saw what was happening in the inner-city. There were the poor. There were the needy and afflicted. There was an overwhelming population of refugees who were in great distress.
For months I contemplated if knowing Christ more really meant knowing the people whom I had avoided my entire life. The Word of God clearly stated yes.
The more I read the Word of GOd, the more convinced I felt. Jesus' definition of ministry was so drastically different from mine. The words of Christ I esteemed and loved had no trace or evidence within my own life.
Jesus' words kept ringing in my mind. 'If you love Me, keep My commandments' (John 14:15).
I realized that my love for Christ was marked by beliefs rather than actions. I had to seek out the commands of my Lord Jesus. What did He desire that I pursue? Surely the abundant Christian life was more than just agreeing with truths. The love that my Lord desired was one marked by obedience.
In my search, I came across this verse that radically altered my thinking. Jermiah 22:16 says, '"He pled the cause of the afflicted and need; then it was well. Is not that what it means to know Me?" declares the Lord' (NASB).
My knowledge of the Lord consisted of quiet times spent in coffee shops with His Word. Did the Lord desire that I come to know Him through actions as well? An alarming thought crossed my mind. If this verse is true, then I only partially know my Lord. There is still another half that I have yet to ever know or see!
I had to dive deeper into the Scriptures to see what else the Lord had to say about pleading the cause of the afflicted and needy. Was this really a major theme in Scripture that I had flippantly passed by? I had spent hours in His Word--how could I have missed this?
David writes in the Psalms, 'Defend the poor and the fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy; free them from the hand of the wicked' (Psalm 82:3).
Micah writes, 'He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with they God?' (Micah 6:8 KJV).
God's law commands in Leviticus, 'But to the stranger (refugee) that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself' (Leviticus 19:34 KJV).
After reading these Scriptures the Spirit of God tugged on my heart. 'Kelly, you need to leave this coffee shop in order to find the poor. You need to step foot into uncomfortable places to find the fatherless. Justice doesn't take place in coffee shops. It takes place on the front lines. You are sitting on the sidelines...'
At this point in the study, I cried out, 'My Lord, I do k=not know You fully because I do not know the poor, needy, and afflicted! Show them to me! I am desperate to know all of You!'
Little did I know at this moment what the Lord had in mind when I pleaded to know Him by knowing the afflicted.
I called up one of my friends and explained my great dilemma. She simply responded, 'There are some people I want you to meet.'
Over the next several months she took me to meet a group of people that has changed my life, refugees fleeing from genocide in Burma--the Karen people.
As I came to know these refugees an astounding thing happened. I also came to know my Lord Jesus even more by experience. As I ventured into the darkest places into the city, the principle, 'The Lord is my shelter' was no longer theory; it was my reality.
Then something mysterious happened. I actually died to myself. Though I had claimed to die to self years earlier, there was no experience by which it would be tested. Yet as I have had to engage in work among the least of these, it is truly no longer that I live but Christ who lives in me.
I met Christ in the coffee shops. Christ met me among the least of these in the inner-city.
As a result the Lord has led me to start a nonprofit addressing the various needs of refugees, orphans, and widows. It is called the R.O.W. Project, and it's simple mission is 'to obey God's command to loved, defend, and deliver the refugee, orphan, and widow.'
We are in the process of establishing a center specifically designed for refugees in the Rochester area. This center will be a place where refugees can become empowered by the Word of God to build needed life skills and receive assistance with daily needs. R.O.W Project will be a place refugees can come for safety, learning, and rest. We then hope to send workers back to the refugees' home countries and minister to the orphans and widows in their homeland.
Our desire is not to be humanitarians. Our desire is to bring the kingdom of God here on earth. Our desire is that others will know Christ by this work.
Though the vision of the R.O.W. Project is overwhelming and the work is immense, the Lord's hand is mightily moving. He has supernaturally provided in ways I could never dream of. His Word has been proven true time and time again.
There are times when it is hard. Self wants to reign again and proclaim that this is just too much time, effort, and cost. It is in these moments that God graces me with His presence. I am reminded of Him as one of the seven-year-old refugee girls puts her hand in mine and asks, 'Will you pray with me?'
There are no costs too high compared to knowing and experiencing the presence of Jesus Christ.
It is no longer the inner-city that I fear. Rather, it is the coffee shop that keeps me away from actually knowing firsthand the Lord's heartbeat." (Ludy, Sacred Singleness).
************************************************************************
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. The thought that I only know part of my Jesus breaks my heart. I want to know Him fully. I really, really do.
Lets pray for opportunities to love hands on, okay? Lets pray for opportunities to move out of our safe coffee houses and step into places we thought we'd never go. Lets pray that we'd become uncomfortable and need to rely on Jesus Christ. Lets pray for doors to be opened where we must crucify our very selves in order to survive.
How can I sleep knowing that I do not fully know my Love?
"One of my breatest fears used to be the inner-city of Rochester, near where I live. Though Rochester is a wonderful place to live, there are certain areas that are some of the most dangerous in the country. All of my life, I have been told to avoid these areas.
Well-meaning Christian leaders had always said, 'There is no need for such a sweet girl like you to venture down there. You are not wanted there and are most likely to end up at the wrong place at the wrong time.'
Did I really have to go down to the city? As I looked around my church, I realized I didn't see one poor person. As I observed my neighbors, I noticed that there were no orphans, no widowns, no refugees. There were people just like me, healthy, comfortable, and well taken care of.
As I turned on the news, I saw what was happening in the inner-city. There were the poor. There were the needy and afflicted. There was an overwhelming population of refugees who were in great distress.
For months I contemplated if knowing Christ more really meant knowing the people whom I had avoided my entire life. The Word of God clearly stated yes.
The more I read the Word of GOd, the more convinced I felt. Jesus' definition of ministry was so drastically different from mine. The words of Christ I esteemed and loved had no trace or evidence within my own life.
Jesus' words kept ringing in my mind. 'If you love Me, keep My commandments' (John 14:15).
I realized that my love for Christ was marked by beliefs rather than actions. I had to seek out the commands of my Lord Jesus. What did He desire that I pursue? Surely the abundant Christian life was more than just agreeing with truths. The love that my Lord desired was one marked by obedience.
In my search, I came across this verse that radically altered my thinking. Jermiah 22:16 says, '"He pled the cause of the afflicted and need; then it was well. Is not that what it means to know Me?" declares the Lord' (NASB).
My knowledge of the Lord consisted of quiet times spent in coffee shops with His Word. Did the Lord desire that I come to know Him through actions as well? An alarming thought crossed my mind. If this verse is true, then I only partially know my Lord. There is still another half that I have yet to ever know or see!
I had to dive deeper into the Scriptures to see what else the Lord had to say about pleading the cause of the afflicted and needy. Was this really a major theme in Scripture that I had flippantly passed by? I had spent hours in His Word--how could I have missed this?
David writes in the Psalms, 'Defend the poor and the fatherless; do justice to the afflicted and needy. Deliver the poor and needy; free them from the hand of the wicked' (Psalm 82:3).
Micah writes, 'He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with they God?' (Micah 6:8 KJV).
God's law commands in Leviticus, 'But to the stranger (refugee) that dwelleth with you shall be unto you as one born among you, and thou shalt love him as thyself' (Leviticus 19:34 KJV).
After reading these Scriptures the Spirit of God tugged on my heart. 'Kelly, you need to leave this coffee shop in order to find the poor. You need to step foot into uncomfortable places to find the fatherless. Justice doesn't take place in coffee shops. It takes place on the front lines. You are sitting on the sidelines...'
At this point in the study, I cried out, 'My Lord, I do k=not know You fully because I do not know the poor, needy, and afflicted! Show them to me! I am desperate to know all of You!'
Little did I know at this moment what the Lord had in mind when I pleaded to know Him by knowing the afflicted.
I called up one of my friends and explained my great dilemma. She simply responded, 'There are some people I want you to meet.'
Over the next several months she took me to meet a group of people that has changed my life, refugees fleeing from genocide in Burma--the Karen people.
As I came to know these refugees an astounding thing happened. I also came to know my Lord Jesus even more by experience. As I ventured into the darkest places into the city, the principle, 'The Lord is my shelter' was no longer theory; it was my reality.
Then something mysterious happened. I actually died to myself. Though I had claimed to die to self years earlier, there was no experience by which it would be tested. Yet as I have had to engage in work among the least of these, it is truly no longer that I live but Christ who lives in me.
I met Christ in the coffee shops. Christ met me among the least of these in the inner-city.
As a result the Lord has led me to start a nonprofit addressing the various needs of refugees, orphans, and widows. It is called the R.O.W. Project, and it's simple mission is 'to obey God's command to loved, defend, and deliver the refugee, orphan, and widow.'
We are in the process of establishing a center specifically designed for refugees in the Rochester area. This center will be a place where refugees can become empowered by the Word of God to build needed life skills and receive assistance with daily needs. R.O.W Project will be a place refugees can come for safety, learning, and rest. We then hope to send workers back to the refugees' home countries and minister to the orphans and widows in their homeland.
Our desire is not to be humanitarians. Our desire is to bring the kingdom of God here on earth. Our desire is that others will know Christ by this work.
Though the vision of the R.O.W. Project is overwhelming and the work is immense, the Lord's hand is mightily moving. He has supernaturally provided in ways I could never dream of. His Word has been proven true time and time again.
There are times when it is hard. Self wants to reign again and proclaim that this is just too much time, effort, and cost. It is in these moments that God graces me with His presence. I am reminded of Him as one of the seven-year-old refugee girls puts her hand in mine and asks, 'Will you pray with me?'
There are no costs too high compared to knowing and experiencing the presence of Jesus Christ.
It is no longer the inner-city that I fear. Rather, it is the coffee shop that keeps me away from actually knowing firsthand the Lord's heartbeat." (Ludy, Sacred Singleness).
************************************************************************
Wow. Wow, wow, wow. The thought that I only know part of my Jesus breaks my heart. I want to know Him fully. I really, really do.
Lets pray for opportunities to love hands on, okay? Lets pray for opportunities to move out of our safe coffee houses and step into places we thought we'd never go. Lets pray that we'd become uncomfortable and need to rely on Jesus Christ. Lets pray for doors to be opened where we must crucify our very selves in order to survive.
How can I sleep knowing that I do not fully know my Love?
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Passion vs. Faithfulness
Naturally, I am an extremely passionate person. Especially lately, I have been finding it very difficult to complete menial tasks without first finding some purpose in doing it. My mindset was that if I could not find a meaningful purpose in doing it, I couldn't put my entire heart into it or I couldn't do it at all. I felt frustrated in doing things I had no passion for. I am, however, being transformed because my thinking was renewed (Romans 12:1-2).
Paul, an adventurous and bold man of courage, fervor, and ardor, was a tent maker. Did he find great joy and pleasure in making tents? NO! He did, however, work as a tent maker because he knew that while he was doing that "meaningless" work, he'd come into contact with people. His joy was in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ as he worked faithfully as a tent maker. He didn't wake up with a smile on his face because of his great anticipation to build tents. Instead, he awoke with great giddiness that he could have the opportunity to share the Gospel when he was doing it.
As I first thought over my educational direction, I got a sick, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could find no meaningful purpose in learning about punctuation, parallel sentences, and fragments. I deeply dreaded going to class, doing homework, and studying for tests and exams. I didn't used to be that way! I used to be the perfect, highly motivated, and gregarious student who always set the curve, turned assignments in days earlier, and received extra points! I did so well in school because I found a purpose in completing my education with excellence: I wanted to make my dad love me. I thought that if I did well in school, I'd receive love. When I graduated from high school with no evidence of fatherly love, I lost all motivation to do well in school. I just went through the motions, earned average grades, and slipped through the cracks.
But after a deeply motivating conversation with someone today, I've gained a new perspective on my educational pursuits. In order for me to get where I want, I need to be faithful today. I want SO deeply to experience great hardship with the least of these in my home country and around the world, but in order for me to gain access into some people's lives, I need a certain title. I will not be able to get into Iraq, the Sudan, Vietnam, or China as a regular missionary. I need to be sneaky! If I have the English teacher title, I can get into any country I want! If it means I must learn about commas, parallel sentences, and fragments today in order to walk the hard road with dry-hearted, seeking people tomorrow, then I MUST DO IT! I must be faithful to my education for the sake of my God's people. I may not be passionate about learning supposedly trivial worldly knowledge, but I can be passionate about being faithful in the menial tasks of life so I can reach the "unreachable."
And I can be filled with godly ardor in being faithful to the things I do not want to do for the sake of showing faithfulness to those around me. When the women are separated from the girls, I want to be among the women. It's easy to be faithful to the things for which we have passion. But it takes a man or a woman, not a boy or a girl, to be faithful to the things in which we have to put effort into completing.
My first calling is to grow in intimacy with my Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.
My second calling is to be faithful in everything I do, whether that is reading stuffy literature, waking up before the day begins to bustle so I can read the Word, or sanitize garbage cans.
I am happy to say that my purpose in this educational pursuit isn't to be passionate about what I'm doing not but to be passionate about being faithful to the ones I'll get to be in relationship with later. So, to God be the glory, I'll do my homework for them.
I do not need an education to feed, love, and bring laughter into the lives of these people, but I may not be able to get to them without an education. These days, it can be so difficult to get into countries where Christianity is illegal. But so many countries, oftentimes the ones who need Christ most severely, are begging for American English teachers. I can be that!
So I'll do my homework for them. If it means I can go without so they can have a meal, then I'll do it. If it means I can show them what Love looks like, then I'll do it. If it means I can pick up a child from the cold cement, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Paul, an adventurous and bold man of courage, fervor, and ardor, was a tent maker. Did he find great joy and pleasure in making tents? NO! He did, however, work as a tent maker because he knew that while he was doing that "meaningless" work, he'd come into contact with people. His joy was in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ as he worked faithfully as a tent maker. He didn't wake up with a smile on his face because of his great anticipation to build tents. Instead, he awoke with great giddiness that he could have the opportunity to share the Gospel when he was doing it.
As I first thought over my educational direction, I got a sick, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could find no meaningful purpose in learning about punctuation, parallel sentences, and fragments. I deeply dreaded going to class, doing homework, and studying for tests and exams. I didn't used to be that way! I used to be the perfect, highly motivated, and gregarious student who always set the curve, turned assignments in days earlier, and received extra points! I did so well in school because I found a purpose in completing my education with excellence: I wanted to make my dad love me. I thought that if I did well in school, I'd receive love. When I graduated from high school with no evidence of fatherly love, I lost all motivation to do well in school. I just went through the motions, earned average grades, and slipped through the cracks.
But after a deeply motivating conversation with someone today, I've gained a new perspective on my educational pursuits. In order for me to get where I want, I need to be faithful today. I want SO deeply to experience great hardship with the least of these in my home country and around the world, but in order for me to gain access into some people's lives, I need a certain title. I will not be able to get into Iraq, the Sudan, Vietnam, or China as a regular missionary. I need to be sneaky! If I have the English teacher title, I can get into any country I want! If it means I must learn about commas, parallel sentences, and fragments today in order to walk the hard road with dry-hearted, seeking people tomorrow, then I MUST DO IT! I must be faithful to my education for the sake of my God's people. I may not be passionate about learning supposedly trivial worldly knowledge, but I can be passionate about being faithful in the menial tasks of life so I can reach the "unreachable."
And I can be filled with godly ardor in being faithful to the things I do not want to do for the sake of showing faithfulness to those around me. When the women are separated from the girls, I want to be among the women. It's easy to be faithful to the things for which we have passion. But it takes a man or a woman, not a boy or a girl, to be faithful to the things in which we have to put effort into completing.
My first calling is to grow in intimacy with my Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.
My second calling is to be faithful in everything I do, whether that is reading stuffy literature, waking up before the day begins to bustle so I can read the Word, or sanitize garbage cans.
I am happy to say that my purpose in this educational pursuit isn't to be passionate about what I'm doing not but to be passionate about being faithful to the ones I'll get to be in relationship with later. So, to God be the glory, I'll do my homework for them.
I do not need an education to feed, love, and bring laughter into the lives of these people, but I may not be able to get to them without an education. These days, it can be so difficult to get into countries where Christianity is illegal. But so many countries, oftentimes the ones who need Christ most severely, are begging for American English teachers. I can be that!
So I'll do my homework for them. If it means I can go without so they can have a meal, then I'll do it. If it means I can show them what Love looks like, then I'll do it. If it means I can pick up a child from the cold cement, I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
Here I Am
Give me the crayons
I wanna color
Life into these people
Like they've never seen before
But You've got their story
One I could never write
But I wanna add color
Life into these people
You've shown me a rainbow
From red all the way to green
Of Your rich, sweet taste
They don't know what they're missing
Give me the crayons
I wanna color
Life into these people
Like they've never seen before
Up before lunch and down before breakfast
Trivial tasks all in between
Were is the life in tasks and selfishness?
You are in the trees and in the sunshine
You are the dirty faces in the projects
You are the crackhouse on Seventh
You are the grumbling belly in the old grass shack
You are the lepor by the gate
You are the whore who's thirsty
For more more more
Will You let me give You water, clothes on Your back?
Would You let me be You to them, the ones who lack?
Let me go to the places they're afraid to go
Let me be the one you choose
Here I am, Lord.
Here I am, Lord.
Here I am, Lord.
I'm not afraid.
I wanna color
Life into these people
Like they've never seen before
But You've got their story
One I could never write
But I wanna add color
Life into these people
You've shown me a rainbow
From red all the way to green
Of Your rich, sweet taste
They don't know what they're missing
Give me the crayons
I wanna color
Life into these people
Like they've never seen before
Up before lunch and down before breakfast
Trivial tasks all in between
Were is the life in tasks and selfishness?
You are in the trees and in the sunshine
You are the dirty faces in the projects
You are the crackhouse on Seventh
You are the grumbling belly in the old grass shack
You are the lepor by the gate
You are the whore who's thirsty
For more more more
Will You let me give You water, clothes on Your back?
Would You let me be You to them, the ones who lack?
Let me go to the places they're afraid to go
Let me be the one you choose
Here I am, Lord.
Here I am, Lord.
Here I am, Lord.
I'm not afraid.
Hold on Tight
I never thought the butterflies would fall through the fall skies
Dancin' down with autumn leaves and stickin' to the nice guys
I planned it so my heart would know it'd have to take a crazy one
'Cuz who else would let these flyers land?
But I'll hold on tight
To everything I told You
But I'll hold on tight
To everything You are
Just like the fire trees they all lost their color
Tried to take bits of me and carry me away
In their pockets like worthless pieces of silver
But You said I'm more than that
You said I'm Yours
But I'll hold on tight
To everything I told You
But I'll hold on tight
To everything You are
The color comes from the roots but trees are all dying
I look around and all I see are selfish hearts and lying
Stealing and taking and cheating and ripping
They are all rotting instead of growing
But I know that there's gotta be one
One oh one oh one oh one
That's all it takes
One oh one oh one oh one
So they fly 'round me but I'll hold them captive
Keep them for a piece of gold that I see my Maker in
Then they'll land and make a home and wake up in the mornin'
One oh one oh one oh one
That's all it takes
One oh one oh one oh one
Dancin' down with autumn leaves and stickin' to the nice guys
I planned it so my heart would know it'd have to take a crazy one
'Cuz who else would let these flyers land?
But I'll hold on tight
To everything I told You
But I'll hold on tight
To everything You are
Just like the fire trees they all lost their color
Tried to take bits of me and carry me away
In their pockets like worthless pieces of silver
But You said I'm more than that
You said I'm Yours
But I'll hold on tight
To everything I told You
But I'll hold on tight
To everything You are
The color comes from the roots but trees are all dying
I look around and all I see are selfish hearts and lying
Stealing and taking and cheating and ripping
They are all rotting instead of growing
But I know that there's gotta be one
One oh one oh one oh one
That's all it takes
One oh one oh one oh one
So they fly 'round me but I'll hold them captive
Keep them for a piece of gold that I see my Maker in
Then they'll land and make a home and wake up in the mornin'
One oh one oh one oh one
That's all it takes
One oh one oh one oh one
Monday, November 30, 2009
Change
Over my 15th summer, I fell in love with Jesus Christ and since then, I have acknowledged His persistent and faithful pursuit of my heart. It has been beautiful and it has been wild, especially over the past year or so. As time increases, my love for Him deepens. I cannot help but love the One is so adamant about loving me.
For my entire life, I have never been afraid to die. In fact, I even wished of it to save the life of another or to stand up for the cause of my Jesus. I had very missionary-like tendencies, but I chose to acknowledge them as a part of my personality, not my calling. However, two summers ago, when I was 18 years old, I felt for the first time a very heavy need for regular people to accept a missionary title. I saw that God had a place for me in missions, whether that meant in isle eight at the grocery store, in the projects of Chicago, or in the mountains of Iraq. I accepted God's command to, "Go," but I didn't surrender my plans to Him fully. I thought that I could still have my dreams and plans all while saying, "Yes" to commandments, too. I didn't realize that in order for me to live in God's will, I had to crucify my own, too.
For a very long time, I was a part of something that I had no business being a part of. It began as the product of my will and ended in obedience to God's will. As I denied myself something I was so sure of for so long, I crucified my very self. It was October 2, 2009. Everything changed that day. My entire being was dead in the most beautiful way and God began to fill me with everything that was Him: dreams, desires, characteristics, tendencies, etc. No longer was I Stephanie, Steph, Stevie, or whoever else, but I was renamed Beloved, Servant, Warrior, Bride, Lily in the making... My identity no longer stemmed from anything of myself. I was fully connected to the Life Giver that is Jesus Christ. I hung on the cross and Jesus was resurrecting me in power and in purity of everything that He is.
So for the past two months, I have lived such a rich freedom and deep-set joy that came as a direct result of surrendering my entire spirit, will, being, plans, loves, passions, everything. Everything that I used to be (both the negative and positive) hangs on the cross, right where it belongs. I am experiencing such bliss and contentment in the center of God's will and I cannot imagine how I survived outside this place for so long!
And the process continues...
...even now, God is re-arranging my career plans and making them His. They were mine for so long but after I surrendered them, He's beginning to read me a different story of how He wants me to spend my time here at Spring Arbor University.
Currently, my major is Secondary English Education and my minor is health education. I do not, however, ever see myself pursuing a career in public or private education. Instead, I envision a wide array of colors seated around my living room coffee table or in a hidden hideaway most do not know about teaching, edifying, and encouraging dry, thirsty hearts. I don't want to spend my life rambling about punctuation and Hamlet! I want to empower hearts for the Kingdom of God and provide Hope to those who have spent their lives looking for it for so long. I cannot be satisfied sitting on a cushy chair grading papers and going through red pens! I want to nourish lives for Christ! I'm sure that can happen in a classroom, but I do not believe it is my mission field. I love English, but I only want to teach it if it means it's the next step for one to read the Bible. I want to mentor people, laugh with them, invite them into my home, and see their faces light up with the Hope and Joy of Jesus Christ.
So could I be changing my major? Yes? What am I changing it to? I. Have. No. Idea. TESOL? Missions? Camp ministries? The possibilities are endless...But quite honestly, I want to have no say in this decision. Everything changes when God's will is your will, and I love it. He is reading a story to me that is far more beautiful that I could have ever written.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 Savior, You have been my richest, deepest desire and You're proving Yourself fully, fully faithful. I love that my desires are being reborn in to Yours.
For my entire life, I have never been afraid to die. In fact, I even wished of it to save the life of another or to stand up for the cause of my Jesus. I had very missionary-like tendencies, but I chose to acknowledge them as a part of my personality, not my calling. However, two summers ago, when I was 18 years old, I felt for the first time a very heavy need for regular people to accept a missionary title. I saw that God had a place for me in missions, whether that meant in isle eight at the grocery store, in the projects of Chicago, or in the mountains of Iraq. I accepted God's command to, "Go," but I didn't surrender my plans to Him fully. I thought that I could still have my dreams and plans all while saying, "Yes" to commandments, too. I didn't realize that in order for me to live in God's will, I had to crucify my own, too.
For a very long time, I was a part of something that I had no business being a part of. It began as the product of my will and ended in obedience to God's will. As I denied myself something I was so sure of for so long, I crucified my very self. It was October 2, 2009. Everything changed that day. My entire being was dead in the most beautiful way and God began to fill me with everything that was Him: dreams, desires, characteristics, tendencies, etc. No longer was I Stephanie, Steph, Stevie, or whoever else, but I was renamed Beloved, Servant, Warrior, Bride, Lily in the making... My identity no longer stemmed from anything of myself. I was fully connected to the Life Giver that is Jesus Christ. I hung on the cross and Jesus was resurrecting me in power and in purity of everything that He is.
So for the past two months, I have lived such a rich freedom and deep-set joy that came as a direct result of surrendering my entire spirit, will, being, plans, loves, passions, everything. Everything that I used to be (both the negative and positive) hangs on the cross, right where it belongs. I am experiencing such bliss and contentment in the center of God's will and I cannot imagine how I survived outside this place for so long!
And the process continues...
...even now, God is re-arranging my career plans and making them His. They were mine for so long but after I surrendered them, He's beginning to read me a different story of how He wants me to spend my time here at Spring Arbor University.
Currently, my major is Secondary English Education and my minor is health education. I do not, however, ever see myself pursuing a career in public or private education. Instead, I envision a wide array of colors seated around my living room coffee table or in a hidden hideaway most do not know about teaching, edifying, and encouraging dry, thirsty hearts. I don't want to spend my life rambling about punctuation and Hamlet! I want to empower hearts for the Kingdom of God and provide Hope to those who have spent their lives looking for it for so long. I cannot be satisfied sitting on a cushy chair grading papers and going through red pens! I want to nourish lives for Christ! I'm sure that can happen in a classroom, but I do not believe it is my mission field. I love English, but I only want to teach it if it means it's the next step for one to read the Bible. I want to mentor people, laugh with them, invite them into my home, and see their faces light up with the Hope and Joy of Jesus Christ.
So could I be changing my major? Yes? What am I changing it to? I. Have. No. Idea. TESOL? Missions? Camp ministries? The possibilities are endless...But quite honestly, I want to have no say in this decision. Everything changes when God's will is your will, and I love it. He is reading a story to me that is far more beautiful that I could have ever written.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 Savior, You have been my richest, deepest desire and You're proving Yourself fully, fully faithful. I love that my desires are being reborn in to Yours.
Mindful
If it is true (which it is) that Jesus is with us always, shouldn't we be mindful of what He is doing in every conversation, every interaction, and every meeting? I want to join God in where He is already working. If I can add color to any man, woman, or child's life, then I know I have worked with God Himself.
In the same sense, if it is true that Jesus is with us always (which it is), shouldn't we be aware of how He is leading us in our thoughts, speech, emotion, action, and interactions? He is constantly working on us. Are we denying His lead and following our own will?
It may seem trivial, but I think God even wants to have a hold and complete control on every action we do! When we are in a room, it should be different because praise God, the Holy Spirit abides with us. So it DOES matter that we follow God's lead in EVERY way. Eating at Ada's Kitchen verses the DC may mean that you come into contact with someone God planned on using you to speak to. I cannot believe that God made us all so uniquely and so differently to not weave His people's lives together. We are a body of many members and we each have an important, functional role; therefore, I have to believe that as a body, we are knit together and cross paths with one another very intentionally and in a planned way.
I want to be aware of how God is leading me, even if its as small as going in the back door of Muffitt verses the front door. Who knows? It could make or break the life of the one who might be waiting at the door for the hope that you can bring them.
In the same sense, if it is true that Jesus is with us always (which it is), shouldn't we be aware of how He is leading us in our thoughts, speech, emotion, action, and interactions? He is constantly working on us. Are we denying His lead and following our own will?
It may seem trivial, but I think God even wants to have a hold and complete control on every action we do! When we are in a room, it should be different because praise God, the Holy Spirit abides with us. So it DOES matter that we follow God's lead in EVERY way. Eating at Ada's Kitchen verses the DC may mean that you come into contact with someone God planned on using you to speak to. I cannot believe that God made us all so uniquely and so differently to not weave His people's lives together. We are a body of many members and we each have an important, functional role; therefore, I have to believe that as a body, we are knit together and cross paths with one another very intentionally and in a planned way.
I want to be aware of how God is leading me, even if its as small as going in the back door of Muffitt verses the front door. Who knows? It could make or break the life of the one who might be waiting at the door for the hope that you can bring them.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thankful
Looking back over the course of the semester, there have been a few people that have blessed me deeply with their lives. With great faithfulness and devotion, they have shown me what friendship looks like and I am forever grateful. I am too blessed for my own good. Thanks for being godly examples to follow after. Thanks for letting me be me and being alright with that. Thanks for providing balance to the friendship and not making me do all the "friendshiping." Thanks for genuinely being interested in my life. Thanks for being you! Thanks for laughing, talking, praying, worshiping, and being with me. Thanks for, after seeing me at my lowest, loving me anyway. Thanks for weeping with me. Thanks for almost missing class to pray with me or just sit by me. Thanks for swiping me in at the DC. Thanks for encouraging me. Thanks for teaching me. Thanks for letting me help. Thanks for both letting me have flaws and nudging me to the cross. Thanks for, oh goodness, just thank you. :)
I appreciate you guys. I think you know who you are.
I appreciate you guys. I think you know who you are.
Friday, November 27, 2009
The Road (WAY) Less Traveled: Care to Marry?
Heya, Everybody.
Thissen (this one), like my other note, will probably be all over the place, too. But, these jumbled thoughts are just an effort to make sense of why the Savior of the entire world decided to let little ole me live again today. After all, He has our days numbered, so why was today included? I think that’s something we all need to question daily as we die to our self, pick up our cross, and choose to follow (or flee) Christ for another day.
This note, I have a feeling, will cause some what of an uproar. A thought worth thinking is a thought that causes halt marks in your brain. If something causes nothing inside of you to move, then it’s not worth thinking. So hear me with open ears and ask yourself why God had you read it. Is that fair? I think so. : )
Alright.
Tell me what the point in dating is. Honestly. I’m just wondering. What does it please? Who does it please?
I have never dated anyone. I have had a boyfriend, but I never considered it dating because we were boyfriend and girlfriend, not causally going on dates here and there or going on dates other than with each other. So we were “together.” Not “dating” or “going out.”
But lets take it even further. What is the point of being “together” with someone? To have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To me, it was a friendship with romance. Am I wrong? You spend time with this person, woo him or her in an effort to capture a living, beating heart, right?
I do not for one second regret the time God allowed blessings to be showered in the relationship my boyfriend had and continue to have as close friends, but for my future, I question the necessity of dating, going out, or considering yourself “together” with someone.
This past week, I have been reading a book called “Set-Apart Feminity” by Leslie Ludy. (Guys, this is a girl book, but you can read the brother book to thissen written by Leslie’s husband, Eric. It is called “God’s Gift to Women: discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity.”) In it is a story about a women who devoted all her single years to the romance she shared with her Prince, Jesus Christ. “As an overflow of her devotion to her Prince, she made a decision to live faithfully for her future husband; not to give her heart, emotions, or body away in temporary relationships, but to wait for the man God would one day bring into her life” (Ludy 61-2). This woman spent all her single years serving other people, going to the mission field, teaching children, completely devoted and abandoned to her First and Greatest Lover of her soul, Jesus Christ. The story goes on to tell readers about how this woman was teaching a Bible study and in comes Scott, a man who “had never given his heart to a woman” and had “been holding out for a Christ-like princess and waiting faithfully for her all his life” (Ludy 63). After two years of developing nothing more than a FRIENDSHIP, Scott asked Krissy to marry him. With much prayer, she said she would.
If you sat in a room with every friend you’ve ever known of the opposite sex, you could quite easily separate them into two groups. Be honest, now. There would be a group of friends that you know you could never marry but then there’d probably be that one, or those very few that you could. If it is a real friendship, you probably know as much or even more about this person as you would if the two of you had dated.
I mean, think about it. How often do friends of the opposite sex become sexually impure with each other? The friendship, or foundation in marriage, would be based purely (literally) on connection, shared passions, shared burdens, and the pure (literally) intimacy that friends share.
There isn’t a single need for romance or physical touch in the process of “getting a spouse.” What purpose does it serve? To please our flesh? Yes. To tickle our emotions? Yes. To provide an outlet to sin? Yes. To have fun? Yes. But is any of that necessary outside a marriage? Why toy with something beautiful when you can toy with your spouse and make it that much more beautiful? Why share something with someone when you’re going to share the same thing with your spouse later? The thought makes me cringe… to go on a date with a man I’m not going to marry? For what purpose? To spend his money? Some girls say so. To get a free meal? Some girls say so. To give your heart away? It’s inevitable. When physical intimacy and romance is removed from the picture, there is no goal that can’t be accomplished in a dating-like or boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship that cannot be accomplished in a friendship. All the same knowledge and bonding. All the same laughs and fun. The only thing that is added to a dating relationship is unfaithfulness to Christ (After all, aren’t we Christians the bride of Christ, our Bridegroom? When we love another man or woman greater than Christ, we commit adultery against our Savior.) In the same way, when we hold the hand or kiss the mouth of another, we literally commit adultery against our future spouse, even if we don’t know them at the time.
This is what I consider beautiful: Friend (boy) meets friend (girl). Friend (boy) loves the soul of friend (girl) because Jesus is her life and she’s not living to win the heart of a friend (boy). Friend (girl) appreciates that friend (boy) isn’t chasing after girls to win their favor but that he is seeking to win the heart of his Savior, Jesus Christ. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) do not slip into sexual temptation because they are just friends. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) get to know each other without taking their hearts from their First Love (Jesus Christ) and giving it to the other. In a long time of pursuing their mutual First Love (Jesus Christ) together in a friendship atmosphere, friend (boy) is intrigued and captivated by the soul of friend (girl) and friend (girl) hopes that friend (boy) is praying like she’s praying about their friendship. Both friend (boy) and friend (girl) pray and seek God’s direction. If friend (boy) is in love with the heart and soul of friend (girl), not anything about her physical self, then friend (boy) asks the Owner (God) of friend (girl) if he can have her. If Owner (God) says, “Yes,” then friend (boy) better obey and ask friend (girl) to marry him. If friend (boy) spent his entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and if friend (girl) spent her entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and decide to spend their entire married life (if that happens) devoted to Christ, then there is no reason why that marriage wouldn’t be anything but God-scripted amazingness. If you’re friends with a person long enough, you know if the two of you are compatible.
I don’t really know why I wanted to tell you guys this, actually…
Why would you want to “have fun” with and romance another person who is not likely to be your future mate? Why give little pieces of your heart here and there when your future spouse deserves it all? The heart cannot be redeemed. When it is given away, it is there to stay.
I know this sounds really, really radical, but has society twisted true love so much as to say it needs physical touch and romance to be beautiful?
This method of true love many would scoff at. And I’m sure many of those reading this are doing exactly that. But it’s those people who will attract people just like them. Now, that is not to say their love won’t be beautiful or it will be wrong. I am just trying to look at the other side of things, widen the perspective, and search out the Truth.
Now I know this thought is rising in your head: “Hey!! I’m in a relationship! Who are you to say it is the wrong way to do things?!” Now, now. It’s alright. : ) I don’t think you’re sinning because you have the label of boyfriend or girlfriend (unless the two of you are, of course, in a sinful relationship…). And I’m not saying I will never be labeled “girlfriend” again. Like I said earlier, this is just my humble attempt to search out the Truth and to see how God would be pleased with me.
The greatest, most beautiful love any person could give another is pure love, complete devotion, and second place to Jesus Christ. THAT is love.
Purity and devotion to Christ never hurt anyone. It is the opposite that causes pain and brokenness (the bad kind... and there's a good kind, too. But that's for another note).
I don’t know about you, but I want that kind of love. But I’m not going to look for it. Today, I’m called to be single and fall deeper in love with Jesus Christ my Savior. For now, I'll find myself completely content with the Lover of my soul. Now if in the process (and a WAY long time from now), this friend (girl)'s hand is asked for in marriage by her friend(boy) who has centered his entire life around our mutual Love (Jesus Christ), our callings are meshable, and we promise God and each other to love our mutual Love (Jesus Christ) together, then praise God, this friend (girl) will be a fiancée and that friend (boy) will be a fiancé. ...you know the rest of the story. ; *
Who wants to walk the road less traveled with me? Who knows… you might find the second greatest love of your life walking and lovin' Jesus among the few who choose as you do.
“Dare I say it, I am now so completely captivated by the Love of this Heavenly man, I want no earthly man until it will only serve to bring my First Love greater glory on this earth! And I know now that my heavenly love story with Jesus Christ will be the greatest gift I can one day give my future husband as we will both simply keep living full for our King…together” (Annie Wesche).
Hmm... that was long. Sorry, Everybody. Maybe my heart will whisper next time (doubt it). : )
Thissen (this one), like my other note, will probably be all over the place, too. But, these jumbled thoughts are just an effort to make sense of why the Savior of the entire world decided to let little ole me live again today. After all, He has our days numbered, so why was today included? I think that’s something we all need to question daily as we die to our self, pick up our cross, and choose to follow (or flee) Christ for another day.
This note, I have a feeling, will cause some what of an uproar. A thought worth thinking is a thought that causes halt marks in your brain. If something causes nothing inside of you to move, then it’s not worth thinking. So hear me with open ears and ask yourself why God had you read it. Is that fair? I think so. : )
Alright.
Tell me what the point in dating is. Honestly. I’m just wondering. What does it please? Who does it please?
I have never dated anyone. I have had a boyfriend, but I never considered it dating because we were boyfriend and girlfriend, not causally going on dates here and there or going on dates other than with each other. So we were “together.” Not “dating” or “going out.”
But lets take it even further. What is the point of being “together” with someone? To have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To me, it was a friendship with romance. Am I wrong? You spend time with this person, woo him or her in an effort to capture a living, beating heart, right?
I do not for one second regret the time God allowed blessings to be showered in the relationship my boyfriend had and continue to have as close friends, but for my future, I question the necessity of dating, going out, or considering yourself “together” with someone.
This past week, I have been reading a book called “Set-Apart Feminity” by Leslie Ludy. (Guys, this is a girl book, but you can read the brother book to thissen written by Leslie’s husband, Eric. It is called “God’s Gift to Women: discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity.”) In it is a story about a women who devoted all her single years to the romance she shared with her Prince, Jesus Christ. “As an overflow of her devotion to her Prince, she made a decision to live faithfully for her future husband; not to give her heart, emotions, or body away in temporary relationships, but to wait for the man God would one day bring into her life” (Ludy 61-2). This woman spent all her single years serving other people, going to the mission field, teaching children, completely devoted and abandoned to her First and Greatest Lover of her soul, Jesus Christ. The story goes on to tell readers about how this woman was teaching a Bible study and in comes Scott, a man who “had never given his heart to a woman” and had “been holding out for a Christ-like princess and waiting faithfully for her all his life” (Ludy 63). After two years of developing nothing more than a FRIENDSHIP, Scott asked Krissy to marry him. With much prayer, she said she would.
If you sat in a room with every friend you’ve ever known of the opposite sex, you could quite easily separate them into two groups. Be honest, now. There would be a group of friends that you know you could never marry but then there’d probably be that one, or those very few that you could. If it is a real friendship, you probably know as much or even more about this person as you would if the two of you had dated.
I mean, think about it. How often do friends of the opposite sex become sexually impure with each other? The friendship, or foundation in marriage, would be based purely (literally) on connection, shared passions, shared burdens, and the pure (literally) intimacy that friends share.
There isn’t a single need for romance or physical touch in the process of “getting a spouse.” What purpose does it serve? To please our flesh? Yes. To tickle our emotions? Yes. To provide an outlet to sin? Yes. To have fun? Yes. But is any of that necessary outside a marriage? Why toy with something beautiful when you can toy with your spouse and make it that much more beautiful? Why share something with someone when you’re going to share the same thing with your spouse later? The thought makes me cringe… to go on a date with a man I’m not going to marry? For what purpose? To spend his money? Some girls say so. To get a free meal? Some girls say so. To give your heart away? It’s inevitable. When physical intimacy and romance is removed from the picture, there is no goal that can’t be accomplished in a dating-like or boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship that cannot be accomplished in a friendship. All the same knowledge and bonding. All the same laughs and fun. The only thing that is added to a dating relationship is unfaithfulness to Christ (After all, aren’t we Christians the bride of Christ, our Bridegroom? When we love another man or woman greater than Christ, we commit adultery against our Savior.) In the same way, when we hold the hand or kiss the mouth of another, we literally commit adultery against our future spouse, even if we don’t know them at the time.
This is what I consider beautiful: Friend (boy) meets friend (girl). Friend (boy) loves the soul of friend (girl) because Jesus is her life and she’s not living to win the heart of a friend (boy). Friend (girl) appreciates that friend (boy) isn’t chasing after girls to win their favor but that he is seeking to win the heart of his Savior, Jesus Christ. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) do not slip into sexual temptation because they are just friends. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) get to know each other without taking their hearts from their First Love (Jesus Christ) and giving it to the other. In a long time of pursuing their mutual First Love (Jesus Christ) together in a friendship atmosphere, friend (boy) is intrigued and captivated by the soul of friend (girl) and friend (girl) hopes that friend (boy) is praying like she’s praying about their friendship. Both friend (boy) and friend (girl) pray and seek God’s direction. If friend (boy) is in love with the heart and soul of friend (girl), not anything about her physical self, then friend (boy) asks the Owner (God) of friend (girl) if he can have her. If Owner (God) says, “Yes,” then friend (boy) better obey and ask friend (girl) to marry him. If friend (boy) spent his entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and if friend (girl) spent her entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and decide to spend their entire married life (if that happens) devoted to Christ, then there is no reason why that marriage wouldn’t be anything but God-scripted amazingness. If you’re friends with a person long enough, you know if the two of you are compatible.
I don’t really know why I wanted to tell you guys this, actually…
Why would you want to “have fun” with and romance another person who is not likely to be your future mate? Why give little pieces of your heart here and there when your future spouse deserves it all? The heart cannot be redeemed. When it is given away, it is there to stay.
I know this sounds really, really radical, but has society twisted true love so much as to say it needs physical touch and romance to be beautiful?
This method of true love many would scoff at. And I’m sure many of those reading this are doing exactly that. But it’s those people who will attract people just like them. Now, that is not to say their love won’t be beautiful or it will be wrong. I am just trying to look at the other side of things, widen the perspective, and search out the Truth.
Now I know this thought is rising in your head: “Hey!! I’m in a relationship! Who are you to say it is the wrong way to do things?!” Now, now. It’s alright. : ) I don’t think you’re sinning because you have the label of boyfriend or girlfriend (unless the two of you are, of course, in a sinful relationship…). And I’m not saying I will never be labeled “girlfriend” again. Like I said earlier, this is just my humble attempt to search out the Truth and to see how God would be pleased with me.
The greatest, most beautiful love any person could give another is pure love, complete devotion, and second place to Jesus Christ. THAT is love.
Purity and devotion to Christ never hurt anyone. It is the opposite that causes pain and brokenness (the bad kind... and there's a good kind, too. But that's for another note).
I don’t know about you, but I want that kind of love. But I’m not going to look for it. Today, I’m called to be single and fall deeper in love with Jesus Christ my Savior. For now, I'll find myself completely content with the Lover of my soul. Now if in the process (and a WAY long time from now), this friend (girl)'s hand is asked for in marriage by her friend(boy) who has centered his entire life around our mutual Love (Jesus Christ), our callings are meshable, and we promise God and each other to love our mutual Love (Jesus Christ) together, then praise God, this friend (girl) will be a fiancée and that friend (boy) will be a fiancé. ...you know the rest of the story. ; *
Who wants to walk the road less traveled with me? Who knows… you might find the second greatest love of your life walking and lovin' Jesus among the few who choose as you do.
“Dare I say it, I am now so completely captivated by the Love of this Heavenly man, I want no earthly man until it will only serve to bring my First Love greater glory on this earth! And I know now that my heavenly love story with Jesus Christ will be the greatest gift I can one day give my future husband as we will both simply keep living full for our King…together” (Annie Wesche).
Hmm... that was long. Sorry, Everybody. Maybe my heart will whisper next time (doubt it). : )
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