Heya, Everybody.
Thissen (this one), like my other note, will probably be all over the place, too. But, these jumbled thoughts are just an effort to make sense of why the Savior of the entire world decided to let little ole me live again today. After all, He has our days numbered, so why was today included? I think that’s something we all need to question daily as we die to our self, pick up our cross, and choose to follow (or flee) Christ for another day.
This note, I have a feeling, will cause some what of an uproar. A thought worth thinking is a thought that causes halt marks in your brain. If something causes nothing inside of you to move, then it’s not worth thinking. So hear me with open ears and ask yourself why God had you read it. Is that fair? I think so. : )
Alright.
Tell me what the point in dating is. Honestly. I’m just wondering. What does it please? Who does it please?
I have never dated anyone. I have had a boyfriend, but I never considered it dating because we were boyfriend and girlfriend, not causally going on dates here and there or going on dates other than with each other. So we were “together.” Not “dating” or “going out.”
But lets take it even further. What is the point of being “together” with someone? To have a boyfriend or girlfriend? To me, it was a friendship with romance. Am I wrong? You spend time with this person, woo him or her in an effort to capture a living, beating heart, right?
I do not for one second regret the time God allowed blessings to be showered in the relationship my boyfriend had and continue to have as close friends, but for my future, I question the necessity of dating, going out, or considering yourself “together” with someone.
This past week, I have been reading a book called “Set-Apart Feminity” by Leslie Ludy. (Guys, this is a girl book, but you can read the brother book to thissen written by Leslie’s husband, Eric. It is called “God’s Gift to Women: discovering the Lost Greatness of Masculinity.”) In it is a story about a women who devoted all her single years to the romance she shared with her Prince, Jesus Christ. “As an overflow of her devotion to her Prince, she made a decision to live faithfully for her future husband; not to give her heart, emotions, or body away in temporary relationships, but to wait for the man God would one day bring into her life” (Ludy 61-2). This woman spent all her single years serving other people, going to the mission field, teaching children, completely devoted and abandoned to her First and Greatest Lover of her soul, Jesus Christ. The story goes on to tell readers about how this woman was teaching a Bible study and in comes Scott, a man who “had never given his heart to a woman” and had “been holding out for a Christ-like princess and waiting faithfully for her all his life” (Ludy 63). After two years of developing nothing more than a FRIENDSHIP, Scott asked Krissy to marry him. With much prayer, she said she would.
If you sat in a room with every friend you’ve ever known of the opposite sex, you could quite easily separate them into two groups. Be honest, now. There would be a group of friends that you know you could never marry but then there’d probably be that one, or those very few that you could. If it is a real friendship, you probably know as much or even more about this person as you would if the two of you had dated.
I mean, think about it. How often do friends of the opposite sex become sexually impure with each other? The friendship, or foundation in marriage, would be based purely (literally) on connection, shared passions, shared burdens, and the pure (literally) intimacy that friends share.
There isn’t a single need for romance or physical touch in the process of “getting a spouse.” What purpose does it serve? To please our flesh? Yes. To tickle our emotions? Yes. To provide an outlet to sin? Yes. To have fun? Yes. But is any of that necessary outside a marriage? Why toy with something beautiful when you can toy with your spouse and make it that much more beautiful? Why share something with someone when you’re going to share the same thing with your spouse later? The thought makes me cringe… to go on a date with a man I’m not going to marry? For what purpose? To spend his money? Some girls say so. To get a free meal? Some girls say so. To give your heart away? It’s inevitable. When physical intimacy and romance is removed from the picture, there is no goal that can’t be accomplished in a dating-like or boyfriend-girlfriend type relationship that cannot be accomplished in a friendship. All the same knowledge and bonding. All the same laughs and fun. The only thing that is added to a dating relationship is unfaithfulness to Christ (After all, aren’t we Christians the bride of Christ, our Bridegroom? When we love another man or woman greater than Christ, we commit adultery against our Savior.) In the same way, when we hold the hand or kiss the mouth of another, we literally commit adultery against our future spouse, even if we don’t know them at the time.
This is what I consider beautiful: Friend (boy) meets friend (girl). Friend (boy) loves the soul of friend (girl) because Jesus is her life and she’s not living to win the heart of a friend (boy). Friend (girl) appreciates that friend (boy) isn’t chasing after girls to win their favor but that he is seeking to win the heart of his Savior, Jesus Christ. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) do not slip into sexual temptation because they are just friends. Friend (boy) and friend (girl) get to know each other without taking their hearts from their First Love (Jesus Christ) and giving it to the other. In a long time of pursuing their mutual First Love (Jesus Christ) together in a friendship atmosphere, friend (boy) is intrigued and captivated by the soul of friend (girl) and friend (girl) hopes that friend (boy) is praying like she’s praying about their friendship. Both friend (boy) and friend (girl) pray and seek God’s direction. If friend (boy) is in love with the heart and soul of friend (girl), not anything about her physical self, then friend (boy) asks the Owner (God) of friend (girl) if he can have her. If Owner (God) says, “Yes,” then friend (boy) better obey and ask friend (girl) to marry him. If friend (boy) spent his entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and if friend (girl) spent her entire single life devoted to his First Love (Jesus Christ) and decide to spend their entire married life (if that happens) devoted to Christ, then there is no reason why that marriage wouldn’t be anything but God-scripted amazingness. If you’re friends with a person long enough, you know if the two of you are compatible.
I don’t really know why I wanted to tell you guys this, actually…
Why would you want to “have fun” with and romance another person who is not likely to be your future mate? Why give little pieces of your heart here and there when your future spouse deserves it all? The heart cannot be redeemed. When it is given away, it is there to stay.
I know this sounds really, really radical, but has society twisted true love so much as to say it needs physical touch and romance to be beautiful?
This method of true love many would scoff at. And I’m sure many of those reading this are doing exactly that. But it’s those people who will attract people just like them. Now, that is not to say their love won’t be beautiful or it will be wrong. I am just trying to look at the other side of things, widen the perspective, and search out the Truth.
Now I know this thought is rising in your head: “Hey!! I’m in a relationship! Who are you to say it is the wrong way to do things?!” Now, now. It’s alright. : ) I don’t think you’re sinning because you have the label of boyfriend or girlfriend (unless the two of you are, of course, in a sinful relationship…). And I’m not saying I will never be labeled “girlfriend” again. Like I said earlier, this is just my humble attempt to search out the Truth and to see how God would be pleased with me.
The greatest, most beautiful love any person could give another is pure love, complete devotion, and second place to Jesus Christ. THAT is love.
Purity and devotion to Christ never hurt anyone. It is the opposite that causes pain and brokenness (the bad kind... and there's a good kind, too. But that's for another note).
I don’t know about you, but I want that kind of love. But I’m not going to look for it. Today, I’m called to be single and fall deeper in love with Jesus Christ my Savior. For now, I'll find myself completely content with the Lover of my soul. Now if in the process (and a WAY long time from now), this friend (girl)'s hand is asked for in marriage by her friend(boy) who has centered his entire life around our mutual Love (Jesus Christ), our callings are meshable, and we promise God and each other to love our mutual Love (Jesus Christ) together, then praise God, this friend (girl) will be a fiancée and that friend (boy) will be a fiancé. ...you know the rest of the story. ; *
Who wants to walk the road less traveled with me? Who knows… you might find the second greatest love of your life walking and lovin' Jesus among the few who choose as you do.
“Dare I say it, I am now so completely captivated by the Love of this Heavenly man, I want no earthly man until it will only serve to bring my First Love greater glory on this earth! And I know now that my heavenly love story with Jesus Christ will be the greatest gift I can one day give my future husband as we will both simply keep living full for our King…together” (Annie Wesche).
Hmm... that was long. Sorry, Everybody. Maybe my heart will whisper next time (doubt it). : )
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