Boys vs. Men

Dear Guys:

While we women know ya'll have hormones 'n stuff, will you please keep them to yourself? Boys flirt, speak suggestively, and casually give away affections to women who are not their's. Men, on the other hand, work hard to protect a lady's heart, cherish it as a treasure, and not seek to win it until he acquires its Maker's permission. The best gift you can give a woman is to cultivate an intimacy with Jesus Christ, not lust or watered down "love." Out of that intimacy, I hope you'll learn, you can give your lady the rich and sweet gifts of a set-apart life for Christ and a guarded heart. It is only when you allow your heart to receive God's love that you'll be able to truly love a woman.

After all, wouldn't it be wrong to tell your wife, "Hey! Our picture is grandddly showcased above the fireplace, but...uh...you wouldn't mind if I kept Sarah's picture up by the lamp and mmm, Chelsea's next to our bed, and mm....Oh! How could you forget Hailey? Her picture can go on the refrigerator! I mean, our picture is the biggest, so keeping the rest up is okay!" That, my friends, would never be okay. Even the seemingly harmless acts of casual flirting, giving parts of your heart away in friendships, and throwing casual affections causes your heart to be cluttered or picked apart in a way that is damaging to your future love story.

This is not to say it is wrong to have female friendships. Such friendships are important, normal, and fun! However, if these aquantainces or friendships are peppered with flirty remarks, past-friendly touching, or suggestive speech, you've crossed the line and entered dangerous territory. Continue to hang out with girls, have good conversation, give friendly hugs, and carry one another's burdens. That's is Christ-like interdependency in the body of Christ! It's beautiful! Just don't taint a friendship with unnecessary flirting.

Now, now, this is not to say that one day, when you find this special lady, you must present yourself as perfect. That, Silly, is not possible until Resurrection Day (1 John 3:1-3). On the contrary, I must add, you can present yourself to this lady as a man in refinement, as a dear friend once described himself. This state of "being" does not dismiss your knots, bumps, or wounds; it only means you are on the journey towards Christ-likeness. The life of a godly man or woman directly correlates with the speed and direction of the journey. One must have his or her eyes on the Prize and be consistently, faithfully, and persistently pursuing it. Stagnancy only produces stench, and no mate will be attracted to that!

So, if you'd like, choose to be one of the few in every generation who has a deepened view of purity. Guard both your body AND your heart. Refuse the very common, and often dismissed as healthy, fleshly tendency to flirt casually. Such a lifestyle reflects an undivided love for Christ and is a beautifully respected thing. : )

In Him,
Women

Oh, and P.S. Women like to feel special. There isn't much anything more crushing that the realization that you are one among many or you are just the next one to be given affections. In the same way that your wife would not feel very special if you gave cards to multiple women on Valentine's day, women do not feel very special if they're just the next one in line, ya know?