Passion vs. Faithfulness

Naturally, I am an extremely passionate person. Especially lately, I have been finding it very difficult to complete menial tasks without first finding some purpose in doing it. My mindset was that if I could not find a meaningful purpose in doing it, I couldn't put my entire heart into it or I couldn't do it at all. I felt frustrated in doing things I had no passion for. I am, however, being transformed because my thinking was renewed (Romans 12:1-2).

Paul, an adventurous and bold man of courage, fervor, and ardor, was a tent maker. Did he find great joy and pleasure in making tents? NO! He did, however, work as a tent maker because he knew that while he was doing that "meaningless" work, he'd come into contact with people. His joy was in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ as he worked faithfully as a tent maker. He didn't wake up with a smile on his face because of his great anticipation to build tents. Instead, he awoke with great giddiness that he could have the opportunity to share the Gospel when he was doing it.

As I first thought over my educational direction, I got a sick, sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could find no meaningful purpose in learning about punctuation, parallel sentences, and fragments. I deeply dreaded going to class, doing homework, and studying for tests and exams. I didn't used to be that way! I used to be the perfect, highly motivated, and gregarious student who always set the curve, turned assignments in days earlier, and received extra points! I did so well in school because I found a purpose in completing my education with excellence: I wanted to make my dad love me. I thought that if I did well in school, I'd receive love. When I graduated from high school with no evidence of fatherly love, I lost all motivation to do well in school. I just went through the motions, earned average grades, and slipped through the cracks.

But after a deeply motivating conversation with someone today, I've gained a new perspective on my educational pursuits. In order for me to get where I want, I need to be faithful today. I want SO deeply to experience great hardship with the least of these in my home country and around the world, but in order for me to gain access into some people's lives, I need a certain title. I will not be able to get into Iraq, the Sudan, Vietnam, or China as a regular missionary. I need to be sneaky! If I have the English teacher title, I can get into any country I want! If it means I must learn about commas, parallel sentences, and fragments today in order to walk the hard road with dry-hearted, seeking people tomorrow, then I MUST DO IT! I must be faithful to my education for the sake of my God's people. I may not be passionate about learning supposedly trivial worldly knowledge, but I can be passionate about being faithful in the menial tasks of life so I can reach the "unreachable."
And I can be filled with godly ardor in being faithful to the things I do not want to do for the sake of showing faithfulness to those around me. When the women are separated from the girls, I want to be among the women. It's easy to be faithful to the things for which we have passion. But it takes a man or a woman, not a boy or a girl, to be faithful to the things in which we have to put effort into completing.

My first calling is to grow in intimacy with my Bridegroom, Jesus Christ.
My second calling is to be faithful in everything I do, whether that is reading stuffy literature, waking up before the day begins to bustle so I can read the Word, or sanitize garbage cans.

I am happy to say that my purpose in this educational pursuit isn't to be passionate about what I'm doing not but to be passionate about being faithful to the ones I'll get to be in relationship with later. So, to God be the glory, I'll do my homework for them.









I do not need an education to feed, love, and bring laughter into the lives of these people, but I may not be able to get to them without an education. These days, it can be so difficult to get into countries where Christianity is illegal. But so many countries, oftentimes the ones who need Christ most severely, are begging for American English teachers. I can be that!

So I'll do my homework for them. If it means I can go without so they can have a meal, then I'll do it. If it means I can show them what Love looks like, then I'll do it. If it means I can pick up a child from the cold cement, I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.

I'll do it.