Psalm 139

Psalm 139
To the Creator. A psalm of His Lily

My gentle and intimate Lord, You have pursued me, desired me, and known me. You are well acquainted with all my ways, and You understand me even when no one else does. You guide me and correct me and care about everything I do. You know me perfectly, and this brings me so much comfort and assurance of Your love. You know even of the things which I have not done and the words which I have not spoken. You know these things, Beloved. Because of Your great knowledge, I do not have to walk in the dark in the fear of not knowing. You are ever before me, and in this I can walk securely. You are my safety. You are my stability. You are my comfort, my joy, my smile. Oh, Refuge, You protect me, and I have no reason to fear. I cannot be moved but by Your Word. Not a single thing can happen except by Your permission. My whole world is in Your hands, and in this I delight! I rejoice! I praise You! I seek You and I know You are found. Your hand holds me securely, and there I feel Your warmth and affection. I am dumbfounded by Your abundant lovingkindness. Your love toward me is so exceedingly extravagant. I lay back in a grove of affection as a carefree child supported by soft grass and wildflowers. You are with me, and You delight to stay. You know me. You know me. You know me... I reach for You, and I keep reaching.

I walk in confidence knowing that there is no where I can go and stray from Your presence. If I stay here, You know me. If I move to another state, You know me. If I travel far away from the ones I know, still yet, You know me. You know me. Oh, Refuge, oh Comfort, Oh Peace...You know me. In my wanderings and in my pursuits; in my fears and in my wonderings; in my joy and in my desire, You know me perfectly, thoroughly, intimately. I cannot escape from this joy, and here I stay. You will forever lead me and guide me, and always will you hold me close to Your side.

If I live to see my fear become reality, still there You know me and will be my light. Even in darkness, I am not hidden from You and this fear does not alarm You. God, You know every thing about me and desire to give good gifts to me as my gentle and generous heavenly Father. You were the One who made me the way I am. You understand my fear and my desire. You will not leave me to fear always and You will incline my heart to trust.

Your praise escapes my lips because it is You who knows me. You have made me, and You did not make a single mistake. I am Your creation, and Your creation is praiseworthy. Thank You for creating me in Your image and giving me the potential to walk in Your likeness. Oh, pour Your grace into me so that I may fulfill Your desire for creation! I understand why You've made me.

I can imagine Your face as you formed me in the secret place where I find You often. You beheld me with eager curiosity with such intricacy and precision and beauty. Oh, Your ability is amazing, Creator. You are perfect in all Your work. Take me to the place where You first created me, and create in me again a pure heart, a gentle and quiet spirit, a humble countenance, and a soul that burns brightly for You. Take me there, and help me know You.

You see me now Lord, so far from what You created Woman to be. You see me unformed, unrefined, misshapen, with strange affection toward things that are not You. You see me how You never intended to see Your creation: stained, bruised, cracked, dry. And You see all the days ahead of me, too. You see how You will redeem, restore, renew, and reshape me into one who is as the Lily who was trampled for my own selfishness. I see Your perfect patience and the longing grace in Your eyes, and I melt. I buckle. I crumble. You are so graceful, so beautiful, so generous.

You have such a high ideal of me, a wounded and broken sinner. You keep arms of love around me despite my unfaithfulness and inability to love You perfectly as You desire and deserve. You think well of me, You delight in me, You sing over me. Your mind is so rich and precious to me, and I do not understand You. I cannot comprehend Your love, but I know it is for me. You should look at me in regret, but You only see me, the one You love, the one You love perfectly.


I am among the wicked whom You should slay. I am among the men of blood who nailed You to a height of wood. I am among the unfaithful who forget Your Word and serve the self, living as if You are not God, the One who knows the depth of intricacy of man. I take Your name in vain. I am my own enemy.

Oh how merciful and generous You are. You know me and still You love me. Oh how merciful and generous You are.

Oh search me. Know me. Know my heart--and still love me. Give me opportunities to prove my love to You and see my intentions when I fail. See how I strive. See how I reach. See how I long to love You. See that I am my own enemy in desiring You.

Welcome me into Your arms when I've found You in that secret place where You made me and where You make me. Let the warmth of Your embrace rise affection within me, and take away everything You hate. You must let me stay, and You must make me new.

Give me victory over my enemy. Give me victory over myself.

I am in Your grip.